canvassin

had been canvassin for 4 dayz...
will still be canvassin for the next 2 dayz...
sianz...
tiredz....

not right...

it will not be right if i still run away from updating blog...thou i know this place has limited readers. which is wat i want.

hah

sad about the exam just past. have nv been so no 把握 about exams. started too late, expected too much. was once questioning my own intelligence...well now still questioniong. sometimes really feel 力不从心... can i really do something in physics? God knows...

have studied in all sorts of places. hv studied with all sorts of ppl. hv studies in all sorts of hours. hv studies in all sorts of moods. hv studied with all sorts of weird thinking.

and it ended with such a terrible PC1142 paper. i was like dreaming.

haiz

anwz, love zhihan's smile and joke =)



went check out air tix during CNY. gg back or not? dunno. tix ex plus studies.

XQRJ comm opened. tml going to knock on ppl's doors for selling advertisement. dunno why suddenly feel v listless. dun want to go...

cleaned up my room. mopped floor and re-arranged my desk. now it looks much more clean and tidy and comfortable. mayb this is the only thing that makes me happy in these few days.

numb myself in 叶鹏哥哥's novel and 'gong'. hope they can entertain me...

badminton training starts soon also...and xqrj...my this holiday arh...haihaihaiz

and where are you

supposed to be my busiest time...

supposed to be my busiest time...yet i stil hv 闲情逸致 blog here. not bad not bad.

yang started looking for job and in fact he had found 3 jobs. Nov 7 2006 Tuesday, he officially finished his NS and was back to a civilian (lets juz ignore the reservice part). This is the day i was looking forward all these 2 years, but it happened to be just another day. yang cleared a lot of leave nearer to the end of his NS, so he was already out the week before that tuesday, and on that day what he did was to travel from his home to his camp to collect his IC then back again -.-"

and gosh, i'm damn worried abt the jobs he found. espcially the sales thgy. dar, dun be too money-driven k? muz stay conscious and alert all the time...pls pls...

*cont struggling*

well...

just realised that this gonna be my 100th entry here.

oh well...ever since 2004. around 1 entry per week. haha.

just submitted my ULS2201 final paper in the afternoon. i mean yesterday afternoon. was aiming to finish it last week, then was aiming for day before yesterday 10pm, then for yesterday 3am, then finally i finished it 2pm yesterday afternoon.

super not sure about my this paper. its supposed to be a popular science article, but even myself not sure wat i'm talking about. let alone my readers. oh well. y cant i s/u this module...usp sux.

time flies super fast. nowadays i do one online assessment the whole afternoon plus night gone liao. haiz. isit my problem or my work's problem.

1 and half weeks to go. 1 more paper and revision for 5 modules to go. jiayou jiayou.

before i entre the absolute panic state.

o finally its here

i'm just pissed off. stressed out. going crazy. both physically and mentally.

my eyes are just painful. result of all the stupid pc1142 interference diffraction He-Ne laser experiment. then stare at either laptop or computer in comp lab for at least 10 hrs a day. now i just want to throw my laptop out of my window.

bloody time is running so bloody short and i'm so bloody unprepared.

i get As for my writing, Bs for my bio and Cs for my math and physcis. insteresting trend. as compared to my JC results.

4 months ago i thought 3.5 was peanut. now i see it as mission impossible.

and this bloody SWAMI was the one who inspire me to write this blog. can he become more dis-organised? his question in CA2 was so nicely phrased that almost nobody understand wat he was saying and he still dare to show us the unbelievable that kind of face and say 'i really dun understand why u all cannot do this!' Gosh! sorry sir but i simply dun understand ur indian english at all. and all the bloody mcqs. i tot u all said o we emphasise conceptual understanding? how come u ask me to tell the exact name of the one example molecule which is found in a small line in the totally scattered lecture notes??????

and it was raining. again i nv bring umbrella. again i was wearing the pair of super slippery slippers. i can become weather forecast already. ppl, nxt time u see me nv bring umbrella and wearing this pair of white slippers, u kno its gg to rain.

and y today i chose to wear this t shirt? its so bloody short and irritates me during lectures cos it couldnt cover part of my back!!!

wat a day.

oyah. and i nv finish my lab report in 3 hrs. 3 hrs lehh!! i'm so bloddy loser.

wat a day.

seriously...what am i gonna do in the future...

I used to express my true thoughts in Chinese. Mother tongue. I can express better.
Now I’m trying to write in English. No particular reason. Except that perhaps I subconsciously hope that this is not my true thought.

Was humiliated by my first CA in my university life. Hmm. Never knew that I could do Maths so badly.
Not that I didn’t study. I got. But yah, maybe not enough.
When I was in the MPSH doing the paper, I started panic when I realized that I was not really DOING the questions, but SKIPPING them.
…it was so different from the same tests for the past 3 years, which are the 1 hour papers that I could finish within 40mins. Topics are the same, yes, nothing out of syllabus. But somewhere halfway through the solving process, I was stuck. Panic panic. Couldn’t calm down and think properly, so of course couldn’t figure out the tricky parts. Time ticking ticking…. Sweat. In the end, hmm, I could solve 6 out of the 12 MCQs. High possibility that I got error in that 6 also. So yah, basically, I failed my 1st CA in my uni life.

Honestly it upset me a super lot. I was stoning from MPSH all the way back to KE. Refused to compare answer with other people. Refused to listen to other people talking about the test. Back to room, sat down, started stoning in front of my laptop. Tried to stop myself from stoning, so started surfing net for funny stuff. But obviously my mind was still dunno where, cos when Sharon called me at 930pm I was like ‘oops today got dance?’ didn’t want to go…but I went. It was not bad…at least I could move and dance and talk and laugh loud loud to let out my depress. JUST FORGET ABOUT THE BLOODY PAPER DUE TOMORROW! FORGET EVERYTHING!!!

So after I was back to my room, I started thinking about my USP paper…well…I just finished it 10 minutes ago, and it was all crap. Who cares.

Suddenly not sure where I am. I hate the feeling of being ‘not sure’. This is the cap of my intellectual level. I cant go an higher…or is it a bottleneck? It might be difficult to go through but there’s another big room of improvement ahead waiting for me?
Let’s be optimistic…choose to think in the latter way…

I’m lousy. Cant to arts, cant do science. Writing kills me. Calculus kills me also. Wahaha. Loser 1, loser 2, welcome to the loser land…

start of new life...

已经开始很久了其实……只是假装有点忙，没顾上写>.< 早知道开一个blog就好了……我半个都管不过来……

说到底我还是一个害怕孤独的人。庆幸选择了hall，不然我一定一个人在房间郁郁而终。因为两天hall没有活动我就已经无聊得快疯掉了。

功课忽然增多，倒是没想到这么快就有功课开始累积。主要是因为usp的writing and critical thinking。我又有了当年gp的感觉……
maths和physics竟然会给我前所未有的恐惧。在我对早以忘怀的积分题目瞠目结舌的时候，LT里我周围的人都开始沙沙演算，带着专业无比的表情开始讨论。天。
选择了这条路的我，以后会怎样？

我只能拍拍自己的肩，心平气和的告诉自己，既然选择了，就要昂首挺胸的走下去。