这个晚上居然网又便秘了，真无语。难得有个小心情写点东西……只好先写这里有空再贴上去了。
哎呀嗬居然上去了……不管。在这儿先写着吧……
时时觉得很是悲哀。原应该是很爱写点东西的，打从上了中学开始就几乎没怎么动过笔了。嘴上当然调侃不要变成酸溜溜的文学青年，但我自己知道是我的笔已经锈得一碰就往下哗哗掉三氧化二铁。很多时候心里就有许多东西想要溢出来，但是笔就是旋在半空，硬是按它下去，就怎么写也写不对。到最后丧失兴趣，最后又来悲哀。
恩……还有什么……
我们是在为谁呢？为自己还是为这个大世界呢？
最近是经常在blog什么的上面写点东西……但是写来写去也是脱不开那个狭隘的小圈子。回头看看，甚至于写的当时，都觉得自己在写毫无意义的靡靡之音。开始觉得爱情这个东西真是太狭隘。徐志摩和鲁迅比，我还是更佩服后者。
或许乱世才会出英雄，包括笔伐者。在这个和平年代，靡靡之音是应该的，为了下一个乱世。和它的英雄。
到了乱世，人们会向往和平，就像和平年代的无聊热血青年向往乱世一样。不仅是化学，世界上似乎没什么能脱得开LCP。
又到了煞风景的时候了。开始流水帐时间……
26号星期三的中正训练比较爽。Kinyan教得相当清楚……比saiho还清楚^ ^呵呵saiho别生气。
27号上午体育下午舞蹈累死了。体育课那个废话大王讲完他那一大通冷笑话加crap加如何上篮之后说我们来practice的时候我们只好无奈的告诉他已经下课两分钟了……dance teacher in charge sux. 看到她的脸我真他妈想踢。
28号较为忙乱。不过所有事结束后反而觉得很空闲。忙乱主要是一大早化学实验没做完然后赶去GP compre也是没写完然后去rush要交的chem grp7 notes然后saiho又发信息过来说tan y h要见我们……还有GP R和Phy S……两者之间还要做完实验和compre……还好都settle了。然后训练……对了见tan y h，拿到比赛规则……那玩意有待研究。
星期六劲扬去接近大自然了……我则远离自然在房间呆了一整天……只是做完3个数学和1个物理tutorial而已真让我郁闷=(
今天……也比较郁闷……对了昨天有打电话回家……因为不用怕打到一半劲扬打电话来。呵呵。发现我从来不能完成给自己定的任务……今天也只是做了GP而已……还被锁在门外浪费了一个晚上。真是该死啊……
希望明天会更好……啊我的未来不是梦……
Monday, January 31, 2005
Saturday, January 29, 2005
烦躁闷热的下午
今天下午真是不爽……热得跟个鬼一样……令人烦躁而且想睡而又不能睡于是更加烦躁……某人在我床上上网上了一个下午，把我的床搞得乱七八糟外加毫不客气的伸手就拿我的东西吃……吃完了还丢我床上……上回她来过以后我睡觉起来发现身上粘两片糖纸……
莹莹在玩游戏……游戏发出的声音和933混在一起听起来格外令人烦躁……不过我强大而成功的控制住了我的烦躁情绪，并且现在心情良好……
等等我再做个tutorial再写……………………
莹莹在玩游戏……游戏发出的声音和933混在一起听起来格外令人烦躁……不过我强大而成功的控制住了我的烦躁情绪，并且现在心情良好……
等等我再做个tutorial再写……………………
Thursday, January 27, 2005
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
心情又不好了
有一段时间这样了。心情起伏的频率厉害，一会心情特好一会恶劣无比。现在属于后者。
在这里我想讲讲一种人。让我非常郁闷的一种。
为什么总是要抄作业呢？为什么不能自己老老实实地做呢？知不知道被抄的人真的很郁闷阿……开玩笑。有一种劳动成果被剽窃的感觉。你要是自己做了哪里不会拿来借鉴一下没有问题，但是直接老实不客气的理所当然的拿来抄就太让我无语了！！！！！！！！！！！简直就快像是利用别人了！
那我也不做 tutorial了行不行？当然不行！老师还是要查……而且也没有人比我先写完让我抄！
那我骗你说我也没写行不行？我自己也说不出口！
为什么就不能自觉一点呢？我如果一直要抄别人作业自己都会脸红的阿……也会不好意思阿……真的没见过这样的，那么的理所当然，简直就像我有义务要给你抄似的。
我不知道外面社会里这种厚脸皮的人多不多。如果真多的话那老实人倒大霉了。绝对就是给人家踩的楼梯。而且还是厚脸皮的聪明人，抄是那种动脑子的抄，就是效果跟自己做一样或者更好而且绝对更快的。反正就是我辛辛苦苦做的时候这些人在享受自己的时光，完了以后我最倒霉。
所以说说，说说，这个社会怎么还会有老实人呢？
顺便，以后要 pon lecture就自己去要notes。
靠。
在这里我想讲讲一种人。让我非常郁闷的一种。
为什么总是要抄作业呢？为什么不能自己老老实实地做呢？知不知道被抄的人真的很郁闷阿……开玩笑。有一种劳动成果被剽窃的感觉。你要是自己做了哪里不会拿来借鉴一下没有问题，但是直接老实不客气的理所当然的拿来抄就太让我无语了！！！！！！！！！！！简直就快像是利用别人了！
那我也不做 tutorial了行不行？当然不行！老师还是要查……而且也没有人比我先写完让我抄！
那我骗你说我也没写行不行？我自己也说不出口！
为什么就不能自觉一点呢？我如果一直要抄别人作业自己都会脸红的阿……也会不好意思阿……真的没见过这样的，那么的理所当然，简直就像我有义务要给你抄似的。
我不知道外面社会里这种厚脸皮的人多不多。如果真多的话那老实人倒大霉了。绝对就是给人家踩的楼梯。而且还是厚脸皮的聪明人，抄是那种动脑子的抄，就是效果跟自己做一样或者更好而且绝对更快的。反正就是我辛辛苦苦做的时候这些人在享受自己的时光，完了以后我最倒霉。
所以说说，说说，这个社会怎么还会有老实人呢？
顺便，以后要 pon lecture就自己去要notes。
靠。
Monday, January 24, 2005
in room liao...
en... todae was a busy dae...which is gd. coz kping myself busy can kp me away fr tinking abt those sad thgs... really. when i shout in the hall i dun really hv yang in mind... juz tinkg of hw to torture the yr1s...hahaz kidding
being a senior really fun leh... haha. todae's pt really shuang3... haha. quite happy tt i'm in a sport cca. no need to sit at somewhere for the whole day n gt mouldy . seems like i'm still the outdoor playful type...hee. i like sweating freely!!! really love my cca...n dear frens... wushu rm's my second hm alr. luv u all!! vjc wushu 04 rox!!
haha todae gt 2 mre newcomers... we gt 16 gg on wed liao...hahaz so happy... stay in wushu ppl... u wil find hw rite ur choice is in the future...really!
todae we toked on the phone for 58 mins 55 secs... isit the longest one we'v ever had? cos he quite free todae... actlly i'm recovering fr ytdae's terrible mood le... cos i start to be bz. gd gd. work work mug mug... then todae in quite a gd mood. cos of wushu...woohoo!! stil luv yang a lot...ytdae i almost feel i cant take it alr...nw i want to hv a try. let's wait... u'l b back de rite?
yah soon it'l b our 7 mth anniversary... happy anniversary. hpe this dae of nxt yr we stil can say this to each other...
btw...thx zilong for accompany me online til 4am...enjoy the choco n hpe u like it =)
n stupid grp 7... wasting my time... y cant they make the lect more like the 3D trigo one...
yah...back to mug...
being a senior really fun leh... haha. todae's pt really shuang3... haha. quite happy tt i'm in a sport cca. no need to sit at somewhere for the whole day n gt mouldy . seems like i'm still the outdoor playful type...hee. i like sweating freely!!! really love my cca...n dear frens... wushu rm's my second hm alr. luv u all!! vjc wushu 04 rox!!
haha todae gt 2 mre newcomers... we gt 16 gg on wed liao...hahaz so happy... stay in wushu ppl... u wil find hw rite ur choice is in the future...really!
todae we toked on the phone for 58 mins 55 secs... isit the longest one we'v ever had? cos he quite free todae... actlly i'm recovering fr ytdae's terrible mood le... cos i start to be bz. gd gd. work work mug mug... then todae in quite a gd mood. cos of wushu...woohoo!! stil luv yang a lot...ytdae i almost feel i cant take it alr...nw i want to hv a try. let's wait... u'l b back de rite?
yah soon it'l b our 7 mth anniversary... happy anniversary. hpe this dae of nxt yr we stil can say this to each other...
btw...thx zilong for accompany me online til 4am...enjoy the choco n hpe u like it =)
n stupid grp 7... wasting my time... y cant they make the lect more like the 3D trigo one...
yah...back to mug...
in school nw...
he looks funny in his uniform...n with the nerdy spec.
here he gone. again. i dun mind waiting actlly... i juz nt sure whether our bond will gt weaker n weaker... until i find there's no pt for me to wait anymore.
yah. time for lect. start counting the daes when i can see him again... wat a beautiful life.
here he gone. again. i dun mind waiting actlly... i juz nt sure whether our bond will gt weaker n weaker... until i find there's no pt for me to wait anymore.
yah. time for lect. start counting the daes when i can see him again... wat a beautiful life.
Friday, January 21, 2005
Monday, January 17, 2005
haiz...
actually...todae was not a bad mood sae...juz tt a lot of bad news... particularly squez within tonight. first yang cough until gt blood... dunno hw to say... i v v v v xin teng... haiz...i dun believe in anibody else in taking care of him...i want to take care of him by myself... i love him... v v v much. really.
then the wushu thgy... 3rd-handed info.stupid la... cant sleep liao...
reminder only.
sat ball fixed my comp... treat her n wangpeng in pizzahut with "free" icedreams.
sunday mug for the whole dae. plan to do much, in the end finish gp only.
monday gt orientation2. started late, only 8juniors come.anw....
i miss him. alot alot. kuai4 hui2 lai2.
then the wushu thgy... 3rd-handed info.stupid la... cant sleep liao...
reminder only.
sat ball fixed my comp... treat her n wangpeng in pizzahut with "free" icedreams.
sunday mug for the whole dae. plan to do much, in the end finish gp only.
monday gt orientation2. started late, only 8juniors come.anw....
i miss him. alot alot. kuai4 hui2 lai2.
Saturday, January 15, 2005
to be continued...
yah let me finish... being yr2 is gd... lots of juniors approach me for advice or smethg... make me feel like a sister. haha.
anw. using coconut's pc nw... mine spoilt. audio setup disapear also. haiz... cant listen to music, cant access internet, what my laptop is for then?
attend 3 s paper lectures... chem...erm... blame on tt stupid elvin... kp on toking nonsence to me... cant follow the lecture as a result. other two were ok...
ytdae wrote an essay. yah. stil dun like writing it.
wed's orientation was ok... the yr1s didnt gt v bored... mayb a bit bt nt very. tink we migrate to much le.. fr back of hall to t11 to basketball court to back of the hall to netball court. concentration was fun... yah... i knew i will zhong4 n hv tt stupid toothpaste on my nose... thx wushu yr2 guys... for ur enthusiasm n effort to make the orientation fun... hpe the yr1s will come again on monday. y escape? join us la~ u'll hv fun time fun seniors n cool actions! hoho
day b4 ydae yang msg me using another hp... saying he cant call me or msg me tonite le...cos... he was sick...TOT... gt fever.haiz... i dunno hw to write... took quite a long time to decide to reply a msg on tt hp, asking tt person if he can help me pass msg to yang... then msg yang's hp ask him to call me when he see this msg... then i went coconut's rm to do he 3D trigo test. when i back to my rm... yingying told me he called me....>.< TOT.............
last nite v nan2 shou4 when heard his voice... almost lost his voice alr, he cant tok continuously for 5 seconds cos his voice always fading away...haiz... in bad mood sme mre, but hpe he's better aft the call... want to take care of him... stupid yang... nv take gd care of urself...
anw. using coconut's pc nw... mine spoilt. audio setup disapear also. haiz... cant listen to music, cant access internet, what my laptop is for then?
attend 3 s paper lectures... chem...erm... blame on tt stupid elvin... kp on toking nonsence to me... cant follow the lecture as a result. other two were ok...
ytdae wrote an essay. yah. stil dun like writing it.
wed's orientation was ok... the yr1s didnt gt v bored... mayb a bit bt nt very. tink we migrate to much le.. fr back of hall to t11 to basketball court to back of the hall to netball court. concentration was fun... yah... i knew i will zhong4 n hv tt stupid toothpaste on my nose... thx wushu yr2 guys... for ur enthusiasm n effort to make the orientation fun... hpe the yr1s will come again on monday. y escape? join us la~ u'll hv fun time fun seniors n cool actions! hoho
day b4 ydae yang msg me using another hp... saying he cant call me or msg me tonite le...cos... he was sick...TOT... gt fever.haiz... i dunno hw to write... took quite a long time to decide to reply a msg on tt hp, asking tt person if he can help me pass msg to yang... then msg yang's hp ask him to call me when he see this msg... then i went coconut's rm to do he 3D trigo test. when i back to my rm... yingying told me he called me....>.< TOT.............
last nite v nan2 shou4 when heard his voice... almost lost his voice alr, he cant tok continuously for 5 seconds cos his voice always fading away...haiz... in bad mood sme mre, but hpe he's better aft the call... want to take care of him... stupid yang... nv take gd care of urself...
Thursday, January 13, 2005
being a yr2
aft my 1st day being a yr2, i said to my fren tt being a yr2 is really shuang3. we r the biggest in schl n in the hostel! except the sm3 of course la...then we hv juniors all over the world... who always shout out loudly "叶丹姐“... making me feel so old.. i'm beginning to see wrinkles on my face... for ur information... weishan typed the above sentence...yah i gtg... amend nxt time.
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
laptop down...
haiz...seems to b quite dao3 mei2 these daes. hvnt gt over yang's leaving... then here comes 'bye bye' from my laptop...
actually its the internet who says bye bye to me. my laptop can do everythg except for accessing internet. i kno all my fault la... stop the installation half way. haiz... 我的电脑生气了……后果很严重……althou its cant go online only... i wonder why i feel so so so uncomfortable...
from now on i try to write smethg more meaningful here...cannot kp on toking nonsense.
these days i am quite down... went orchard do cip on sat aftnn. tt made the time on sat past abit faster. then the whole sunday i stayed in my rm n mug... was quite surprised i finished b4 11pm. cos i kp on stoning... stared at my hp or into space. n assembled the bkshelf finally... cant do it at first, until i realised i used the wrong tool...then finish assembling very fast...bt until nw i still nv put anithg into it. it just stands there...
on sunday i finally decided to wet the pig weishan gave to me. see wat it wil b like when the grass on its back all grow out. after awhile i pinned a piece of paper on it... with 'yang' on e paper... stupid hor... really hpe everythg can turn into him...
on monday i tried to cheer myself up n went to school as merrily as possible. study hard hard... bt stil couldn't help falling aslp during bio lecture. pls la i tried v hard alr... aftnns r always v slpy...
then gt training... sorry saiho bt i really cant make myself smarter... making u waste alot of time teaching me tt qiang...thx alot. really worry abt the orientation on wed... scared they gt bored. bt i'll try my best to warm the environment...
by the time i back v late liaoz...n tired... didnt do any hw then went slp. at ard 11:30pm. hoho
nw i in schl com lab. v cold... teeth chittering... schl end liao. ltr gt dance. hpe i can kp this efficiency ba... todae muz finish phy s paper n lk thru all the notes... 加油！！
btw... smetimes i feel quite yin1 huo4 de2 fu2... he nv call me everiday b4. ok lah sp far 2 days only... on sat when he juz gt there he called me at 10:43pm... heard he there v noisy n luan4... all the sounds...slamming doors...ppl talking n all tt. said lights off at 10:45...yah...then the 2nd day i waited for the whole day...became v anxious when near 10:30pm...bt no1 calls. at last hp rang at 00:01... when i as brushing teeth. i juz throw away the toothbrush jumped out of the toilet... he juz back.so xin teng... sounded v tired... then on monday again called quite late. i said i slpt at 11:30pm...until then stil no call. i tried to kp myself awake n wait for the call...bt sil fell aslp n was waken up by the call. stil sound tired... haiz... wat can i do... muz take care k? faster cme back...miss u lots
i end up toking whole chunk of nonsense again. hpeless.
actually its the internet who says bye bye to me. my laptop can do everythg except for accessing internet. i kno all my fault la... stop the installation half way. haiz... 我的电脑生气了……后果很严重……althou its cant go online only... i wonder why i feel so so so uncomfortable...
from now on i try to write smethg more meaningful here...cannot kp on toking nonsense.
these days i am quite down... went orchard do cip on sat aftnn. tt made the time on sat past abit faster. then the whole sunday i stayed in my rm n mug... was quite surprised i finished b4 11pm. cos i kp on stoning... stared at my hp or into space. n assembled the bkshelf finally... cant do it at first, until i realised i used the wrong tool...then finish assembling very fast...bt until nw i still nv put anithg into it. it just stands there...
on sunday i finally decided to wet the pig weishan gave to me. see wat it wil b like when the grass on its back all grow out. after awhile i pinned a piece of paper on it... with 'yang' on e paper... stupid hor... really hpe everythg can turn into him...
on monday i tried to cheer myself up n went to school as merrily as possible. study hard hard... bt stil couldn't help falling aslp during bio lecture. pls la i tried v hard alr... aftnns r always v slpy...
then gt training... sorry saiho bt i really cant make myself smarter... making u waste alot of time teaching me tt qiang...thx alot. really worry abt the orientation on wed... scared they gt bored. bt i'll try my best to warm the environment...
by the time i back v late liaoz...n tired... didnt do any hw then went slp. at ard 11:30pm. hoho
nw i in schl com lab. v cold... teeth chittering... schl end liao. ltr gt dance. hpe i can kp this efficiency ba... todae muz finish phy s paper n lk thru all the notes... 加油！！
btw... smetimes i feel quite yin1 huo4 de2 fu2... he nv call me everiday b4. ok lah sp far 2 days only... on sat when he juz gt there he called me at 10:43pm... heard he there v noisy n luan4... all the sounds...slamming doors...ppl talking n all tt. said lights off at 10:45...yah...then the 2nd day i waited for the whole day...became v anxious when near 10:30pm...bt no1 calls. at last hp rang at 00:01... when i as brushing teeth. i juz throw away the toothbrush jumped out of the toilet... he juz back.so xin teng... sounded v tired... then on monday again called quite late. i said i slpt at 11:30pm...until then stil no call. i tried to kp myself awake n wait for the call...bt sil fell aslp n was waken up by the call. stil sound tired... haiz... wat can i do... muz take care k? faster cme back...miss u lots
i end up toking whole chunk of nonsense again. hpeless.
Sunday, January 09, 2005
去当兵咯
昨天他走了，跑到那个破岛上过幸福生活。球说big deal?，我也是觉得。日子还不就这么过呗。但是还是不行，还是不高兴，还是难过，还是舍不得，还是想。要是我能跟他一起去多好。
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原来不是说4月进兵的嘛，后来不知道怎么搞waiting list有空了，于是他就进去了。我对这个一向胡里糊涂，搞不清早进有什么好处晚进有什么坏处，反正扬想早进那就算是早进好吧。不过从我单纯的自私的个人的角度来讲，我是有点想让他陪我过这3个月……因为肯定是最忙的。想有个人在旁边。不过现在只能换个角度想……晚上读书没人打扰了！hohoho
现在感觉已经有点淡了。大前天他刚告诉我的时候哇不要太难过。想想，后天就要进去了才告诉我，而且还不是直接的。他是这么说的啊。“我星期六不能和你出去了。”我说哦，为什么啊。我还想是什么原因可能临时有什么事或者家长不许什么的看我多单纯啊。结果他吧唧就来了一句我星期六进兵。我星期六进兵。靠。我都蒙了，躺那儿不知道应该有什么反应。后来我想笑两声可能好点，我就笑了两声，笑完了自己都觉得痛苦。从此之后就郁闷终身了。
所以前天去见他。为了这个差点跟elvin打起来。这个白痴早点时候不做，还放我鸽子，啊，非要最后一秒在那里赶赶赶，临时跟我说拜五下午meet。我靠。先是说中午meet，我说我要早走，说行啊那3点完吧，结果一看课表他2点多才放学，结果说晚上meet吧我靠！！！问扬说见多长时间啊，他说越长越好，废话，哪次不是你赶着7点之前回去。等等。用这种语气好象不太对……我当时是又急又有点生气还有点小伤心。其实，我真的很想能跟他在一起的时间长一点。他说这次不会的。我就在那儿跟elvin争取啊，结果他叫我等他跟玮珊协商。我充满希望的等了半天，最后告诉我5点半。我真是彻底无语了。于是又争啊……最后感觉我都没脸了。里外不是人。最后讨价还价到6点。 后来结果挺好笑的，我4点就回来了，还躺床上睡了一个多钟头，真他妈傻子。
不过那天和他出去，真的挺开心的。最后还帮我抗了一个12公斤重的书橱回来，真是辛苦了。
走了也好。我要奋斗了。
*****************
原来不是说4月进兵的嘛，后来不知道怎么搞waiting list有空了，于是他就进去了。我对这个一向胡里糊涂，搞不清早进有什么好处晚进有什么坏处，反正扬想早进那就算是早进好吧。不过从我单纯的自私的个人的角度来讲，我是有点想让他陪我过这3个月……因为肯定是最忙的。想有个人在旁边。不过现在只能换个角度想……晚上读书没人打扰了！hohoho
现在感觉已经有点淡了。大前天他刚告诉我的时候哇不要太难过。想想，后天就要进去了才告诉我，而且还不是直接的。他是这么说的啊。“我星期六不能和你出去了。”我说哦，为什么啊。我还想是什么原因可能临时有什么事或者家长不许什么的看我多单纯啊。结果他吧唧就来了一句我星期六进兵。我星期六进兵。靠。我都蒙了，躺那儿不知道应该有什么反应。后来我想笑两声可能好点，我就笑了两声，笑完了自己都觉得痛苦。从此之后就郁闷终身了。
所以前天去见他。为了这个差点跟elvin打起来。这个白痴早点时候不做，还放我鸽子，啊，非要最后一秒在那里赶赶赶，临时跟我说拜五下午meet。我靠。先是说中午meet，我说我要早走，说行啊那3点完吧，结果一看课表他2点多才放学，结果说晚上meet吧我靠！！！问扬说见多长时间啊，他说越长越好，废话，哪次不是你赶着7点之前回去。等等。用这种语气好象不太对……我当时是又急又有点生气还有点小伤心。其实，我真的很想能跟他在一起的时间长一点。他说这次不会的。我就在那儿跟elvin争取啊，结果他叫我等他跟玮珊协商。我充满希望的等了半天，最后告诉我5点半。我真是彻底无语了。于是又争啊……最后感觉我都没脸了。里外不是人。最后讨价还价到6点。 后来结果挺好笑的，我4点就回来了，还躺床上睡了一个多钟头，真他妈傻子。
不过那天和他出去，真的挺开心的。最后还帮我抗了一个12公斤重的书橱回来，真是辛苦了。
走了也好。我要奋斗了。
Friday, January 07, 2005
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
que sera sera
juz to make myself clearer...
1. went yang's classmates housewarming on last day of last year shun4 bian4 lost my hp. back the next day noon.
2. aftnn went out settle the hp thg... xia xing's really gd tempered. bad mood. miss my hp.
3. sunday slacked for the whole day. didnt manage to do much work. bad mood. fa1 xie4 on yang again. junior came to ask abt orientation at nite...so weird toking in eng when all r prc.
4. 1st day of schl. weishan made me touched. read du2 zhe3 n was moved again. was appointed as math rep...thou ltr i gave it to lizi. gt the cca walkabt form...began to msg n run up n down b/w tan y h n the team le...mtg on wed wil b fun. elvin the idiot...fly me pigeon. wateva.
5. 2nd day. 4th jan 2005. burst my sms. yang, saiho, cheryl, junxian, xiuwen msg me at the same time. n still hv to run up find tan y h. tml he n our new tic wil cme for our meeting.
went sing with yang n kangjie again...anw todae schl ends early. n i fang elvin ge zi. didnt sing much cos tired...the toked 4 1+ hr in Mc...
6. todae. had the fun meeting.new tic was kind...even brought us cake to eat. tan y h was kind during the meeting... bt when he was toking to me i juz feel pressurised. always give the hint tt he wil close down the team... dare nt to tell the team. aiya freak..........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
gp was abit better than my expectation. n cant find the donation booth again. danm it. elvin finally gt me...stupid srs.
*************************************
昨天在麦当劳，三个人坐在那里，其实有点喜欢这种感觉。
可能每个人都是不一样的吧。我说喜欢一个人不是因为那个人喜欢你，所以不能说那个人感情有什么变化就一定改变你对他的感情。可能是理想化了一点我承认，其实康杰说的也对，真正到了那个时候，谁不会恨。不过，说老实话……还真是不习惯一个比我还小的小孩儿在我面前那么深沉地谈论爱情呵……^^
感情这种事情……真的不是一句“我应该怎么办”就能解决的东西。世界上最捉摸不定的东西莫过于此。要真是纯感情用事也还好推断一点，无奈现实的需要逼我们不得不掺上不同比例的理智。就乱了。
我想，没有一个人是可以玩转感情的吧。那些所谓情圣，有几个快乐呢。
女孩子的心思，确实很难捉摸。心口不一大概是女孩子的通病，越独立的女孩子，搞不好越是希望男孩子跟她在一起时间多一点，想要能对着他撒娇，能往他怀里钻。为什么呢我也不知道。但是我是女的所以我讲的应该是真的至少对我是^^……哭了绝对不会告诉你她在哭，明明难过偏说没事。有时候很讲道理，有时候什么都不管。嗨。没救了。
于是讲到他喜欢的那个女生。没想到劲扬会开口。真是有点感动。
他说其实我好羡慕你。你有自由可以随便什么时候到处乱跑，给别人惊喜什么的。
然后呆呆的看着我说对不起，跟我交往很辛苦吧。
我只能一遍一遍的在心里说谢谢你，谢谢你，谢谢你。
我真的够幸福了。谢谢你。
*******************************************
可能是觉没睡够的原因。反正今天特别累。
我就是想说夹在两边的中间真的不是什么好差事。在两边听到的都不是什么好话，我还是要笑脸迎人，必要的时候不失时机的给两边分别灌输对对方的好印象（虽然好象没什么成效）。一方说的话，难听的到我这儿为止，我觉得我的一大作用就跟个软化过滤器差不多。但是我听到了呀……不得不往最坏的方面想。要担心就让我一个人担心去吧。你们不知道，tan y h 的话让我觉得他真的挨过我们这届就会把武术散掉。我就在他面前讲了个武术rm他就有反应了，说，啊？什么rm？武术rm？我赶紧改口说yah yah lion dance……然后他说哼哼我总有一天要把那个rm收回去……虽然好象是在开玩笑……但是真的很pressurise……我知道如果我跟他们说他们也只是会聚在那里骂骂。骂很长时间可能。最后还是我去说。不如不讲。不想听他们抱怨不停。
只是在这里发泄一下。没啥。
When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother
What will I be
Will I be pretty
Will I be rich
Here's what she said to me
Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera, sera
What will be, will be
When I grew up and fell in love
I asked my sweetheart
What lies ahead
Will we have rainbows
Day after day
Here's what my sweetheart said
Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera, sera
What will be, will be
Now I have Children of my own
They ask their mother
What will I be
Will I be handsome
Will I be rich
I tell them tenderly
Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera, sera
What will be, will be
Que Sera, Sera
未来不是我们所能描述的
1. went yang's classmates housewarming on last day of last year shun4 bian4 lost my hp. back the next day noon.
2. aftnn went out settle the hp thg... xia xing's really gd tempered. bad mood. miss my hp.
3. sunday slacked for the whole day. didnt manage to do much work. bad mood. fa1 xie4 on yang again. junior came to ask abt orientation at nite...so weird toking in eng when all r prc.
4. 1st day of schl. weishan made me touched. read du2 zhe3 n was moved again. was appointed as math rep...thou ltr i gave it to lizi. gt the cca walkabt form...began to msg n run up n down b/w tan y h n the team le...mtg on wed wil b fun. elvin the idiot...fly me pigeon. wateva.
5. 2nd day. 4th jan 2005. burst my sms. yang, saiho, cheryl, junxian, xiuwen msg me at the same time. n still hv to run up find tan y h. tml he n our new tic wil cme for our meeting.
went sing with yang n kangjie again...anw todae schl ends early. n i fang elvin ge zi. didnt sing much cos tired...the toked 4 1+ hr in Mc...
6. todae. had the fun meeting.new tic was kind...even brought us cake to eat. tan y h was kind during the meeting... bt when he was toking to me i juz feel pressurised. always give the hint tt he wil close down the team... dare nt to tell the team. aiya freak..........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
gp was abit better than my expectation. n cant find the donation booth again. danm it. elvin finally gt me...stupid srs.
*************************************
昨天在麦当劳，三个人坐在那里，其实有点喜欢这种感觉。
可能每个人都是不一样的吧。我说喜欢一个人不是因为那个人喜欢你，所以不能说那个人感情有什么变化就一定改变你对他的感情。可能是理想化了一点我承认，其实康杰说的也对，真正到了那个时候，谁不会恨。不过，说老实话……还真是不习惯一个比我还小的小孩儿在我面前那么深沉地谈论爱情呵……^^
感情这种事情……真的不是一句“我应该怎么办”就能解决的东西。世界上最捉摸不定的东西莫过于此。要真是纯感情用事也还好推断一点，无奈现实的需要逼我们不得不掺上不同比例的理智。就乱了。
我想，没有一个人是可以玩转感情的吧。那些所谓情圣，有几个快乐呢。
女孩子的心思，确实很难捉摸。心口不一大概是女孩子的通病，越独立的女孩子，搞不好越是希望男孩子跟她在一起时间多一点，想要能对着他撒娇，能往他怀里钻。为什么呢我也不知道。但是我是女的所以我讲的应该是真的至少对我是^^……哭了绝对不会告诉你她在哭，明明难过偏说没事。有时候很讲道理，有时候什么都不管。嗨。没救了。
于是讲到他喜欢的那个女生。没想到劲扬会开口。真是有点感动。
他说其实我好羡慕你。你有自由可以随便什么时候到处乱跑，给别人惊喜什么的。
然后呆呆的看着我说对不起，跟我交往很辛苦吧。
我只能一遍一遍的在心里说谢谢你，谢谢你，谢谢你。
我真的够幸福了。谢谢你。
*******************************************
可能是觉没睡够的原因。反正今天特别累。
我就是想说夹在两边的中间真的不是什么好差事。在两边听到的都不是什么好话，我还是要笑脸迎人，必要的时候不失时机的给两边分别灌输对对方的好印象（虽然好象没什么成效）。一方说的话，难听的到我这儿为止，我觉得我的一大作用就跟个软化过滤器差不多。但是我听到了呀……不得不往最坏的方面想。要担心就让我一个人担心去吧。你们不知道，tan y h 的话让我觉得他真的挨过我们这届就会把武术散掉。我就在他面前讲了个武术rm他就有反应了，说，啊？什么rm？武术rm？我赶紧改口说yah yah lion dance……然后他说哼哼我总有一天要把那个rm收回去……虽然好象是在开玩笑……但是真的很pressurise……我知道如果我跟他们说他们也只是会聚在那里骂骂。骂很长时间可能。最后还是我去说。不如不讲。不想听他们抱怨不停。
只是在这里发泄一下。没啥。
When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother
What will I be
Will I be pretty
Will I be rich
Here's what she said to me
Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera, sera
What will be, will be
When I grew up and fell in love
I asked my sweetheart
What lies ahead
Will we have rainbows
Day after day
Here's what my sweetheart said
Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera, sera
What will be, will be
Now I have Children of my own
They ask their mother
What will I be
Will I be handsome
Will I be rich
I tell them tenderly
Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera, sera
What will be, will be
Que Sera, Sera
未来不是我们所能描述的
Monday, January 03, 2005
读者
今天课很少，有大把时间在图书馆看读者。
忘记是哪一期了，就是封面是两个小孩穿着甲虫的衣服的那期。下一个去看的人搞不好会看到洇湿的痕迹。
一整天眼睛都很不舒服，大概是用眼过度的缘故。又酸又痛，还涩涩的睁不开。这样了还去看读者，真是自己找罪受。
有一篇文章，是讲一艘船出事，人都被扣在船下，只有割开船体才能救人。船下的人发疯一样的敲打船底请求救援，切割机也早已准备好，只是领导还在开会研究，命令还没下来。于是敲船底的声音越来越轻越来越少，最后命令终于来了的时候，只有三个人还活着了。
想到泰坦尼克号，那个许多人的手从被淹没的地下室的铁栅栏拼命往外伸，拼命想抓住什么，那些手一只一只垂下，最后全没了动静的镜头。我只看了一次，以后再看同一部电影，怎么也不忍心看这个镜头。
也不知道怎么，突然很悲哀。我现在在干吗？我真想去当一个求援队员。把这些人全部救出来。还有我一直的愿望，去穷的地方当老师。不现实吧……怎么不现实了？只要去不就行了？太有意义的事情……为什么还窝在这里抱怨自己都不知道自己在干什么？……我不敢放弃。即使自己都不知道放弃什么。这是什么路？我算看清了，我就是一个他妈的窝囊废。
所以我一定要捐钱。我要那么多钱干吗。而我竟然还在为捐10块还是50块犹豫。真他妈不是东西。
很感动，当看到玮珊给我的卡片。当然这又是对眼睛不好的事情。但我珍惜这种感觉胜过大多数东西。真的是感动，都不知道说什么。我真的没有做什么，为什么有那么多那么好的朋友呢？
这些话，我当面或者在电话里信息里都不会对什么人说吧。信息里是说不清楚。
我想看到我能当面对谁说的那天。那样，才是真的。不对吗。
忘记是哪一期了，就是封面是两个小孩穿着甲虫的衣服的那期。下一个去看的人搞不好会看到洇湿的痕迹。
一整天眼睛都很不舒服，大概是用眼过度的缘故。又酸又痛，还涩涩的睁不开。这样了还去看读者，真是自己找罪受。
有一篇文章，是讲一艘船出事，人都被扣在船下，只有割开船体才能救人。船下的人发疯一样的敲打船底请求救援，切割机也早已准备好，只是领导还在开会研究，命令还没下来。于是敲船底的声音越来越轻越来越少，最后命令终于来了的时候，只有三个人还活着了。
想到泰坦尼克号，那个许多人的手从被淹没的地下室的铁栅栏拼命往外伸，拼命想抓住什么，那些手一只一只垂下，最后全没了动静的镜头。我只看了一次，以后再看同一部电影，怎么也不忍心看这个镜头。
也不知道怎么，突然很悲哀。我现在在干吗？我真想去当一个求援队员。把这些人全部救出来。还有我一直的愿望，去穷的地方当老师。不现实吧……怎么不现实了？只要去不就行了？太有意义的事情……为什么还窝在这里抱怨自己都不知道自己在干什么？……我不敢放弃。即使自己都不知道放弃什么。这是什么路？我算看清了，我就是一个他妈的窝囊废。
所以我一定要捐钱。我要那么多钱干吗。而我竟然还在为捐10块还是50块犹豫。真他妈不是东西。
很感动，当看到玮珊给我的卡片。当然这又是对眼睛不好的事情。但我珍惜这种感觉胜过大多数东西。真的是感动，都不知道说什么。我真的没有做什么，为什么有那么多那么好的朋友呢？
这些话，我当面或者在电话里信息里都不会对什么人说吧。信息里是说不清楚。
我想看到我能当面对谁说的那天。那样，才是真的。不对吗。
Sunday, January 02, 2005
Happy New Year!!
迟是迟了一点，但是仍然管用。
想到Forrest Gump里一个毫无重要性的小角色的话。是一个俱乐部里的那种女郎。
"I just love new years. It starts all over. Everybody gets the second chance."
想到Forrest Gump里一个毫无重要性的小角色的话。是一个俱乐部里的那种女郎。
"I just love new years. It starts all over. Everybody gets the second chance."
明天开学了……
明天要开学了……好象没什么感觉。不怎么开心，也不怎么不开心。挺无动于衷的。就第二天要来了呗。
真是的我还想特别写点什么呢。自己把自己搞的都没感觉了。虽然是大实话。
刚发现手机丢了的时候也没什么感觉，在纽顿地铁站站着，觉得好象应该表现得着急点儿吧，可就是着急不起来。但是从sue ann家出来，那个惆怅啊~~就一拨一拨的来。好郁闷啊！！……想死我的笨笨的索尼手机……再也没有带滑轮的手机了。看不到那样的屏幕，那样的字体。手机上的小鹿。贴着的羊和带翅膀的心。它的铃声。canon。还有录在里面的i lay my love on u 和 皇后之歌……虽然它是时不时闹点小脾气死个机或者故意搞丢点什么……但是……唉。
所以我知道了。不管之前它有多讨厌多麻烦多让人头发倒竖，一旦时间用长了，一旦突然它不见了，就会怀念得翻江倒海。
出去的时候坐在车上手上总觉得少了东西。打电话要到处找公用的。想看个时间吧，宿舍里哪儿也翻不出个钟。最严重的，谁的电话号码都没有了。想找谁都不行。习惯每隔几分钟就听到的来自扬的短信铃声也平白消失了……时间过的好慢。半天没了手机，觉得好象一个世纪。
哪天你觉得你喜欢的人不喜欢你了，消失一段时间。保证他会找你找疯掉然后找到了之后紧紧攥着你自投罗网的说我们永远在一起吧。当然除非人家本来就不喜欢你。
真是的我还想特别写点什么呢。自己把自己搞的都没感觉了。虽然是大实话。
刚发现手机丢了的时候也没什么感觉，在纽顿地铁站站着，觉得好象应该表现得着急点儿吧，可就是着急不起来。但是从sue ann家出来，那个惆怅啊~~就一拨一拨的来。好郁闷啊！！……想死我的笨笨的索尼手机……再也没有带滑轮的手机了。看不到那样的屏幕，那样的字体。手机上的小鹿。贴着的羊和带翅膀的心。它的铃声。canon。还有录在里面的i lay my love on u 和 皇后之歌……虽然它是时不时闹点小脾气死个机或者故意搞丢点什么……但是……唉。
所以我知道了。不管之前它有多讨厌多麻烦多让人头发倒竖，一旦时间用长了，一旦突然它不见了，就会怀念得翻江倒海。
出去的时候坐在车上手上总觉得少了东西。打电话要到处找公用的。想看个时间吧，宿舍里哪儿也翻不出个钟。最严重的，谁的电话号码都没有了。想找谁都不行。习惯每隔几分钟就听到的来自扬的短信铃声也平白消失了……时间过的好慢。半天没了手机，觉得好象一个世纪。
哪天你觉得你喜欢的人不喜欢你了，消失一段时间。保证他会找你找疯掉然后找到了之后紧紧攥着你自投罗网的说我们永远在一起吧。当然除非人家本来就不喜欢你。
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