Thursday, December 06, 2007

a post that is not supposed to be so late

finished exam last saturday, 1 Dec.

can i say i was busy playing, accompanying zhe, packing and stuff like that so that i'v got no time to blog?

anwz.

about my 3 papers. may not turn out to be good. i said i'v got no excuse to flop them this time, but apparently i still flopped them.

was overwhelmed by sadness after my simplest ever QM paper. haiz. yi2 hai4.

watched movie, sang ktv, went eat big dinner, went walk walk, everything that u can think of. i mean everything one should do to relax.

and now i'm gg to m'sia for holiday trip. with XQ and wushu friends. in less than half an hour.

hope i will enjoy it =)

another note. i cant read zhang ailing's writing. i'm scared.

=bon voyage=

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

reading week post

update first.


all experiment + reports + viva done
EM ca2 done
uit2204 ca2 done
genetics ca3 done
experimental physics presentation done. PC2193 closed.
QM ca2 done
uit2204 final project done. UIT2204 closed.
SEP formal application (including an essay) done
uar2299 paper 3 done. UAR2299 closed.

== things pending ==

SEP detailed module mapping + recommendation letter

to be done...

MARCH NEXT YEAR!!!

oyeah!!!!

so effectively i have officially closed three of my modules. 3 final exams starting this saturday, evenly spaced out some more.

but instead of feeling happy and relaxed, i'm weirly getting more gan jiong.

这一次,我真的没有理由不交出一份合理的成绩单。

===

saw yuanyan's blog. he dedicated a song to NWH.

smiled when i listened to the song. so i also join in the dedication.

《 是非题 》

每段故事都有一篇剧情
每段爱情都像动人旋律
一颗真心却只向着你前进
也许爱越单纯越着迷

你是窗外另外一片风景
在你眼里我是什么关系
你的呼吸藏在我的爱情里
何时能诚实面对自己

我们从不开口那个言语
那一句我爱你
永远像少了勇气
别人都说我和你之间的关系
没有人相信只有关心

我们从不正视那个问题
那一些是非题
总让人伤透脑筋
我会期待爱盛开那一个黎明
一定会有美丽的爱情

=) feeling happy.

= drunk last night. a lot of nonsense.
sorry about all the crappy Cezanne or watever dear {} =

Thursday, November 15, 2007

only time

who can say where the road goes
where the day flows
only time

and who can say if your love grows
as your heart chose
only time

who can say why your heart sights
as your love flies
only time

and who can say why your heart cries
when your love lies
only time

who can say when the roads meet
that love might be
in your heart

and who can say when the day sleeps
and the night keeps
all your heart

night keeps all your heart

who can say if your love grows
as your heart chose
only time
and who can say where the road goes
where the day flows
only time

who knows? only time
who knows? only time...

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

updated checklist

all experiment + reports + viva done.
EM ca2 done.
uit2204 ca2 done.
genetics ca3 done.
experimental physics presentation done.

== things pending ==

QM ca2
uit2204 final project
SEP formal application (including an essay)
uar2299 paper 3
SEP detailed module mapping + recommendation letter

first THREE to be done this friday

last two to be done before my first paper 24 Nov


==

oyeah. getting there, getting there.

i love to see the list getting shorter.

不管结果先。

Monday, November 12, 2007

checklist

all experiment + reports + viva done.
EM ca2 done. one hour ago.

== things pending ==

uit2204 ca2
genetics ca3
experimental physics presentation
QM ca2
uit2204 final project
uar2299 paper 3
SEP detailed module mapping + recommendation letter

first five to be done this friday
last two to be done before my first paper 24 Nov

Friday, November 02, 2007

one thing at a time...

5th VIVA done.

ok. what's next?

experiments all done. 2 more reports + VIVA. 1st draft finish by today.

still got

QM ca2
EM ca2
genetics ca3
uit2204 ca2
uar2299 paper 3
experimental final presentation
SEP detailed module mapping

hmm one for each module + SEP. not that bad. even though they are cramped in one week.

let's tackle them one thing at a time.

i can do it =)

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

dream sweden =)

just back from SEP interview.

i got my first choice, KTH in Sweden =)

*clap clap clap*

with minimum preparation, hahaha.

... or its becuase few ppl want to go sweden i think.


============

time is still flying behind my back. i wonder how it flies so fast. more than 1/sqrt(u0e0).

it's really a screwed up semester. right from the start.

a result of combination of bad luck, the courses themselves, and most importantly me myself.



still got 3 weeks. pia time.

Monday, October 15, 2007

not right

dun feel correct...

i know i'm standing alone at this place. no one will think of finding me. and i dun want to start looking for anyone either, cos i dun want to appear dependent and longing for help...

lack of confidence? yah. in both other people and myself. and perhaps love.

so i shall be totally independent, keep distance to everyone. never ever rely on anybody else or take anyone for granted, cos my own shoulder is the only backup i have. never ever show my weak side to anybody else, cos it will only make people think i'm not strong enough.

i'm grateful to have a few precious friends, and great parents. and maybe a little bit of love. but their accompany and encouragement can only make my life better. when things happen, I myslef am still the only one that i can depend on.

this invisible home might be the only support i have... cos it's me myself. never thought that it could be so important to me one day. i will tell u everything my dear home.

its difficult. 但是我知道,以后的路,我正是要一个人这样走下去。


====

2dae is the 6th anniversary of me coming to singapore. i spent the best of my time here...
at least 7 more years to go, haha.
let it be.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

limit?

these are what i did last week. starting from last saturday.

1 essay handed up on monday.

another one handed up on tuesday.

studied and took LSM1102 CA2 on tuesday.

dance practice on wednesday 5 to 7pm; wushu training from 8 to 11pm. on wednesday.

studies and took PC2131 electricity and magnetism on thursday.
ICN rehearsal on tuhrsday nite, together with wushu training.

prepared and went for project meeting on friday morning.

started and finished SEP initial study plan and endorsement on friday.

wushu IVP training friday night.

two project meetings today -- today is actually quite relaxed...


wow i felt so 成就感。

==========

so out of all these, how many did i screwed?

the essays... from my point of view they suck. but u kno, the profs may think the opposite way. judging from past experiences.

LSM1102 genetics test. ok la... confirm better than CA1 at least. it's really easy to improve from 35%.

PC2131 was a major failure. yes. 4 questions, 25% each. i think i wrote about 20% of the whole thing? out of which i confirm more than half were wrong. so i think i should be getting ard 10%. no kidding. it was like a blank paper. numb.

and i lost the file me and my partner wrote during fridays project meeting. perfect.

actually friday was not a bad day for me. i successfully settle initial module mapping and endorsement of my study plan within like 3 to 4 hours, which most of the people took 3 weeks to do. then also on friday i got to know that my QM CA1 last thursday i got 94%! wahahaha surprise surprise. i tot my QM worse than EM. now looks like EM is really the worst... i may get 6% for EM so that my QM and EM can add up to 100%... oh yeah...
o then also, i started and finished another PC2193 experiment on friday within 1 and a half hours. good. now left with 2 more experiments. but... 5 more reports...

no choice but have to eat into my sleep time. slpt 3 to 5 hrs everyday last week. plus a lot of trainings. so here pain there pain, here weak there weak. recently felt pain and sour at the back of my waist. hope its not my kidney got problem already.

===========

things coming up next week:

1. Tuesday: UAR2299A 50 min (!) presentation (the one which i lost the file)
2. Tuesday: UIT2204 test 1
3. Wednesday: die die must finish one more report, hand up and take viva
4. ICN on thursday night. so wushu and dance practices will take place every night i think.
5. friday: UIT2204 MATLAB test. its open book so hopefully it will be fine.
6. IVP on saturday. so more wushu trainings.
7. sunday project meeting.

ok sounds less hectic than last week.

so i guess i'll be ok.


=btw, thx zhe... i'm always brighten up by ur accompany =) =

Monday, October 01, 2007

=)

你点头了,我笑了。
其实好像我们都笑了…
呵呵,好傻 =)

Saturday, September 29, 2007

拈花完毕

十分钟后吃饭,然后离开慧歆家,8点的火车。

没拈到什么好花,不过花粉应该有沾到一点。幸好我对花粉不过敏。

前院后院的红毛丹树,凉水和瓢,卧佛坐佛站佛,朋友出嫁openhouse的好吃的。还有可爱的uncle antie =)

我已经激励自己了。

有一天我在想我到底算是个什么东西
还是我会不会根本就不算东西
天天都漫无目的偏偏又想要证明真理
别人从屁股放屁我却每天每天都说要革命

就算是整个世界把我抛弃
而至少快乐伤心我自己决定
所以我说就让他去
我知道潮落之后一定有潮起
有什么了不起

常常我豁出去拚了命走过却没有痕迹
可是我从不怕挖出我火热的心
手上有一个硬币反面就决定放弃嗝屁
但是啊在我心底却完完全全不想放弃

常常我闭上眼睛听到了海的呼吸是你
温柔的蓝色潮汐告诉我没有关系

就算真的整个世界把我抛弃
而至少快乐伤心我自己决定
所以我说就让他去
我知道潮落之后一定有潮起
我不能忘记
无论是我的明天要去哪里
而至少快乐伤心我自己决定
所以我说就让他去我
知道潮落之后一定有潮起
有什么了不起
啦啦啦啦啦啦
明天我在哪里~~~


谢谢球和明雪 =)

这次回去,就没有旅人的感觉咯~
新加坡,NUS,我回来了 =S

还有,亲爱的祖国,还有俊哲,生日快乐=)

Friday, September 28, 2007

别拦我,我要发泄

从开学到现在没有一件好事。

genetics,最爽了,CA1就这么挂掉了。35%,我都没见过这分数。
UIT2204 foundations of engineering。刚刚拿了一个group presentation的最低分组里的最低分。
EM. tutorial没做被老师叫上台板演,对着去年会做的题目目瞪口呆。
QM还在粉饰太平,下周四CA1,死期不远。
UAR2299A essay1 下下周2交,3000字的东西现在还没动窝。
Experimental,现在该完成3个实验加报告加viva了。我现在只弄了4个实验,2个报告,没做viva.

武术。麻烦重重,不得安宁。
badminton,先被羞辱,再被误会,再被踢。

电脑频频出问题。virus scan过期,windows media player 走调,指纹识别不灵光,老死机。

没有最screwed,只有更screwed。我是螺丝王。

bad day

i never have confidence in anyone. anyone. including myself. anyone.

no matter how!!!

things change. everything changes. and here i am, disillusioned sad concasted and trying my best to smile and laugh like nothing happens. i think only my parents and ball know and care.

go to the hell challenger presentation, badminton, SCRC, or maybe JCRC as well, QM, lab report, USP, WJZ, everything.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

day 1

火车开动的那一瞬间,我突然有了想旅行的感觉。
这可不寻常。我一向自我标榜为闭塞之人。懒得动窝的那种。我妈经常捶胸顿足说我好奇心的缺乏一点不像她。
我要去旅行。要像现在这样在通往一个陌生地方的火车上有一个自己的铺位。和衣坐在床铺上,身边放着一个简单的旅行包,随着火车的节奏摇晃着听火车的轰鸣,看窗外不停变换的风景或连成一片的夜色。看地图,用大腿当桌子写旅途中的突发奇想。在一群同样风尘仆仆,带着兴致和期待的旅人中间。
很不一样。更高级的交通工具都坐过那么多次了,没有一次算得上是旅行。那个硕大笨重的箱子,最熟悉不过的目的地,完全彻底解释“返回常住地”的意义。
自诩为“旅人”是一件叫我脸红的事。这两个字非同一般。就这么简单,traveler的直译,怎么就带上了那么一丝浪漫,那么一笔风尘,那么一抹伤感。
有伪小资的嫌疑。先不管。
那是一个完全陌生的地方。我从方圆几公里的象牙塔仓皇逃窜出来,在这可怜的几个小时里试着暂时把QM, EM, lab report, budget, ICN, IVP 等等等等一呼噜丢到一边,在一辆通往一个完全未知的地方的火车上愣头愣脑地假装感受那虚幻无比难得无限的旅人意境。
有足够多的理由让我有那么一抹伤感。不多,不是什么深仇大恨,万般苦水无人诉。就那么无伤大雅的一点儿,倒弄得它量正好。一抹。
Oh yeah come on baby. 有更多的理由让我开心,快乐,开怀大笑,不是么?
不过在那之前,请让我享受一下作为一个伪旅人的迷人心情。在我抵达吉兰丹,开始给自己建造另一个象牙塔之前。

===

去搭火车的路上经过chua chu kang。
Lot 1 外面搭上了脚手架,被弄得面目全非。不规则形状的灰色水泥块暴露在下午很苍白的阳光里。尘土飞扬。
一瞬间以为它正在被拆。有点讶异,开始琢磨莫非EDB跟我拜了把子,不然怎么会跟我一样觉得lot 1 的存在已经失去了任何意义,甚至在帮我拆了它解气。
又想想,应该不是。这年头。要吗也该是renovation吧。咱没事也给它翻新翻新。
于是愕然发觉其实EDB站在他那一边。丢掉累赘,踢开过去,开始一个全新的生活。

抑或它想让我知道这一点?

===

没有来得及在火车加速之前把简讯写完。信号消失,再也不可能发送。
真的?想我,门都没有?我不在简直太爽了?
在这方面,我是敏感的。不要相信我浮在表面的自信。如果我已不再能带给你快乐,我会一个人郁闷的走开。
但如果我还可以,请告诉我你会想念。

===

中《一人一半》的毒已深。最近一直在一个很低的位置徘徊。
喜欢伍家辉唱起这首歌时的眼神和表情。定定的放空的瞳,嘴角浅浅的微微的笑,那是在事情过去很久之后回头看时轻轻的不求答案的问。

已经找到爱

为何想离开

Friday, September 14, 2007

阴

头疼欲裂。

这就是昨晚只睡了两个小时的结果。

===

这两天一直都参杂着那种灰灰,冷冷,阴阴,湿湿的天气。two implications: 1. 这种天气我竟然没有在睡觉,天理何在;2. 它跟我的心情蛮像。=.=

Sunday, September 09, 2007

days pass by...

日子依然过得十分木然。
就这么一天一天过,事情也就这么一件一件做。快快快,pass pass pass,然后没有留下任何痕迹。
QM似乎拉下很多,知道急,但不知道赶的动力在哪。Experimental才做了一个半,已经让我生理上和心理上同时精疲力竭。USP两个module的essay和project虎视眈眈,再不开始就会有死得很难看的危险。Genetics竟然被我忽视到忘记有考试,因而无比干脆的在知道有CA的1小时之后挂掉了这个CA。
武术的事情一件接着一件,谁叫我们这么不甘平庸。表演,教练,突然间冒出来的比赛。monitor yahoo group, update wushu blog. 好爽。
election麻烦层出不穷。来了一轮又一轮。已经没啥好抱怨的,就当锻炼锻炼photoshop的技能,熟悉熟悉爬树的本领。
badminton再不去就太不给面子了。前天去热身了一下,明天selection。
dance后天第一个GM。谢天谢地,之前没跟着搅和。但之后怎么办,no idea。
X10揭开序幕。

一天48个小时好不好?
或许我可以把半小时当一小时看=,=

事情这么多,过水无痕。

难道我已经到了所谓“心如止水”的境界?
值得庆贺。


=== === ===

恍惚中好像过了个生日。
终于被sabo了。当那桶东西毫无预兆地从天而降的时候,我在心里说, WALAU EH!!!!!... o, ok.
(不过那桶东西真的很*&^%$#]#^&。peanut butter杀伤力绝对大)
狠狠地告诉自己这两天什么都别想拉!生日就得好好过!
于是被sabo,看碟,出去逛街,food fair,金陵+ahs+vj故人小聚,还有rush hour3和无意中碰见的林俊杰。
谢谢所有当面祝贺,短信,msn,email的朋友!
还有你们的礼物。绝对实用,绝对有意义。
水瓶,teaspoon,high tech blanket,手表,手链,甚至make up... 我现在真的什么都不缺了。娃哈哈哈哈!

顺便提一句。他忘了。
我似乎也没理由期待什么。呵呵。

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

talk

=~roTteN EgG~=:: http://www.keviiwushu.blogspot.com/ ::: NO REGRETS 漂浮. *feignez*. :::=once an XQRJ-ian, always an XQRJ-ian= 说:
'lo

yang 发送 2007-8-29 1:14:
'lo..

=~roTteN EgG~=:: http://www.keviiwushu.blogspot.com/ ::: NO REGRETS 漂浮. *feignez*. :::=once an XQRJ-ian, always an XQRJ-ian= 说:
how's uni?

yang 说:
tiring..

yang 说:
still coping..

=~roTteN EgG~=:: http://www.keviiwushu.blogspot.com/ ::: NO REGRETS 漂浮. *feignez*. :::=once an XQRJ-ian, always an XQRJ-ian= 说:
apply maths?

yang 说:
yeah..

yang 说:
maths still ok..

yang 说:
computing harder..

=~roTteN EgG~=:: http://www.keviiwushu.blogspot.com/ ::: NO REGRETS 漂浮. *feignez*. :::=once an XQRJ-ian, always an XQRJ-ian= 说:
cs modules?

yang 说:
cz..

=~roTteN EgG~=:: http://www.keviiwushu.blogspot.com/ ::: NO REGRETS 漂浮. *feignez*. :::=once an XQRJ-ian, always an XQRJ-ian= 说:
o...

=~roTteN EgG~=:: http://www.keviiwushu.blogspot.com/ ::: NO REGRETS 漂浮. *feignez*. :::=once an XQRJ-ian, always an XQRJ-ian= 说:
not on campus stay rite?

yang 发送 2007-8-29 1:27:
no..

=~roTteN EgG~=:: http://www.keviiwushu.blogspot.com/ ::: NO REGRETS 漂浮. *feignez*. :::=once an XQRJ-ian, always an XQRJ-ian= 说:
o...

=~roTteN EgG~=:: http://www.keviiwushu.blogspot.com/ ::: NO REGRETS 漂浮. *feignez*. :::=once an XQRJ-ian, always an XQRJ-ian= 说:
any activities? or just buzy coping with studies... and the travelling...

yang 说:
joined wushu.

yang 说:
still learning lifesaving..

yang 说:
so quite bz..

=~roTteN EgG~=:: http://www.keviiwushu.blogspot.com/ ::: NO REGRETS 漂浮. *feignez*. :::=once an XQRJ-ian, always an XQRJ-ian= 说:
yup can see

=~roTteN EgG~=:: http://www.keviiwushu.blogspot.com/ ::: NO REGRETS 漂浮. *feignez*. :::=once an XQRJ-ian, always an XQRJ-ian= 说:
how's nus wushu?

yang 说:
ok lo..

=~roTteN EgG~=:: http://www.keviiwushu.blogspot.com/ ::: NO REGRETS 漂浮. *feignez*. :::=once an XQRJ-ian, always an XQRJ-ian= 说:
when's their training wor... at night? then u will be back home quite late leh...

yang 发送 2007-8-29 1:36:
yeah..

yang 发送 2007-8-29 1:36:
very late..

yang 发送 2007-8-29 1:37:
so if tired then i wont go le..

=~roTteN EgG~=:: http://www.keviiwushu.blogspot.com/ ::: NO REGRETS 漂浮. *feignez*. :::=once an XQRJ-ian, always an XQRJ-ian= 说:
en...

=~roTteN EgG~=:: http://www.keviiwushu.blogspot.com/ ::: NO REGRETS 漂浮. *feignez*. :::=once an XQRJ-ian, always an XQRJ-ian= 说:
jiayou lo

=~roTteN EgG~=:: http://www.keviiwushu.blogspot.com/ ::: NO REGRETS 漂浮. *feignez*. :::=once an XQRJ-ian, always an XQRJ-ian= 说:
so we dun hv time to meet up le o..?

yang 发送 2007-8-29 1:39:
not now ba..

yang 发送 2007-8-29 1:40:
nxt time lo..

=~roTteN EgG~=:: http://www.keviiwushu.blogspot.com/ ::: NO REGRETS 漂浮. *feignez*. :::=once an XQRJ-ian, always an XQRJ-ian= 说:
hehe

=~roTteN EgG~=:: http://www.keviiwushu.blogspot.com/ ::: NO REGRETS 漂浮. *feignez*. :::=once an XQRJ-ian, always an XQRJ-ian= 说:
nxt time many times le o...

yang 说:
but i really dun hv time leh..

yang 说:
wat to do..

yang 说:
at hm oso got alot of thgs..

yang 说:
not only u..my other frens oso..

=~roTteN EgG~=:: http://www.keviiwushu.blogspot.com/ ::: NO REGRETS 漂浮. *feignez*. :::=once an XQRJ-ian, always an XQRJ-ian= 说:
i understand perfectly

yang 发送 2007-8-29 1:48:
i go studyle..

=~roTteN EgG~=:: http://www.keviiwushu.blogspot.com/ ::: NO REGRETS 漂浮. *feignez*. :::=once an XQRJ-ian, always an XQRJ-ian= 说:
but a 5min thing leh

=~roTteN EgG~=:: http://www.keviiwushu.blogspot.com/ ::: NO REGRETS 漂浮. *feignez*. :::=once an XQRJ-ian, always an XQRJ-ian= 说:
ok ok

=~roTteN EgG~=:: http://www.keviiwushu.blogspot.com/ ::: NO REGRETS 漂浮. *feignez*. :::=once an XQRJ-ian, always an XQRJ-ian= 说:
same here

yang 说:
rest early..

yang 发送 2007-8-29 1:48:
anw..

=~roTteN EgG~=:: http://www.keviiwushu.blogspot.com/ ::: NO REGRETS 漂浮. *feignez*. :::=once an XQRJ-ian, always an XQRJ-ian= 说:
u still say me

yang 说:
i study until cannot take it then will slp..

=~roTteN EgG~=:: http://www.keviiwushu.blogspot.com/ ::: NO REGRETS 漂浮. *feignez*. :::=once an XQRJ-ian, always an XQRJ-ian= 说:
i used to slp at 3am alr

yang 说:
o..

yang 发送 2007-8-29 1:48:
tok another time o..

=~roTteN EgG~=:: http://www.keviiwushu.blogspot.com/ ::: NO REGRETS 漂浮. *feignez*. :::=once an XQRJ-ian, always an XQRJ-ian= 说:
when u r less busy lo

=~roTteN EgG~=:: http://www.keviiwushu.blogspot.com/ ::: NO REGRETS 漂浮. *feignez*. :::=once an XQRJ-ian, always an XQRJ-ian= 说:
maybe never. haha

yang 说:
ok..

=~roTteN EgG~=:: http://www.keviiwushu.blogspot.com/ ::: NO REGRETS 漂浮. *feignez*. :::=once an XQRJ-ian, always an XQRJ-ian= 说:
as in, mayb u will nv b less busy

yang 说:
hpe not..

=======
i nv think anything.
for own record only.

o, got think something.
maybe my msn nick too long alr.
LOL

Saturday, August 25, 2007

1st (or rather the 1st half) and 2nd posters i'v ever done

Wushu recruiment poster. with a lot of help from engseng and colin.



hall election rally day poster. independent work.

archiving purpose. my journey in photoshop begins...

稀里糊涂

there is a point to the existence of this blog.

it is like a rubbish bin, something like the paper bag provided on flights for vomitting purpose.

i throw, or hide all my frustration, sadness, and evil thinking here, and entitle this place an INVISIBLE home.

simply because i want it to be a part of me that is invisible to most of the people around me... cos these rubbish are not helpful to others at all.

for those who know this place and visit here regularly, it is your choice to get spammed by all these dark, negative, naggy and irritating thinkings of mine. i never advertise this blog, neither did i keep it private. i just put it there. those who happen to find this place, i see the effort of bothering to search for it. if your intention is to understand me more and be a friend, thanks. and welcome to my invisible home. if you are just fulfilling your curiosity and nothing else, you won't receive any thank, and you will come and go and forget this place eventually. so i dun bother.

but i still dun want too many people to dig my rubbish. they will be disgusted. not healthy for them. so if i realise too many people can see, i will move home.

so in conclusion, i unload my unhappiness and evil-ness here, so i'm the most cheerful and happy in my visible world to brighten people's life. i will forever be perfectly ok, dun worry =) nothing can beat me in the visible world, thanks to my invisible home.

====

ok enough tokcok

从float后期开始我的生活就很贴切的稀里糊涂
开学之后更盛,每天都不知道自己怎么睡着,几点睡着的
丢三落四,鸡同鸭讲
清醒的时候不多
不对,是少得可怜
好像一直都没有休息
整天不停从一个地方漂到另一个地方
从房间到教室,从lab到训练,从电脑前photoshop到printing room
好像有时间做一件事情,忽然间又没有了
好像有一点management,忽然间又好像不见了

恍惚哦~

很像在做梦

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

float. yang. and others.

much has been said about Rag Day 2007.

We did our best. No regret. We didn't lose. We are coming back next year to sweep all the awards.

which are true.

hello we are not comforting ourselves only or wat. everything is so obvious since the moment when all halls displayed their floats. only us, kevii, or shears. one of us.

styles at two extreme. judges have to make a decision, since the workmanship is equally amazing. and shears won. i have nothing to say, except that 'too bad judges prefer that style'.

i said i didnt care about the result. right after we finish our dynamic performance i have no regret already, cos i knew we have done it, up to, if not more than, what we have expected.

not a single cock up in mechanism. can you believe that.

but during the result announcement, i still couldnt help but burst into tears when i realised i didnt hear 'ke7' for the two awards. until now i can still feel how tightly shin and xiahe was grabbing my hands.

2 months of blood and sweat, 40+ hrs of non-sleep, 2 tight hrs of crazy touch-up.

thank all fellow floaters 07/08, for building the baby Omnis together with me. i'm honoured to be one of you all.

thank everyone in my dearest static team. qiaojie, for your wild ideas and incredible drawing and nicknames =,=; minmin, for your planning, lack of sleep, pineapple cookies, and being such a wonderful roommate; laoban, for your leadership, your help in EVERYTHING, cheerfulness, never get mad upon us...

and thank our 一家亲 design team. my dearest shinshin, oks, fatty, pooja, and of course ayam~

shall stop here. i'm losing the feeling.

=====

gup a few souvenirs of my vending machine, which was the first to be dismantled because of the printer cartriage inside. also kept my planning for baby Omnis, and the 4 tickets. spent $15 to auction back the metal plate on my vending machine. now they are nicely hung on my notice board, can see them everyday =)

====

可能真的是人品问题。点儿背。
开学第一天。

只是那么两秒。大概一秒。
他绽开遇见好久不见的朋友的灿烂笑容。
我落荒而逃。

其实我也想像他那样笑的。我试了,笑了。但我没有办法,就是僵住了。
都没有敢回头看,他看到我不自然的笑容和胡乱挥手之后仓皇逃窜是什么反应。
或许没有任何反应。
或许都没有停下他的脚步。

那是什么笑容阿。那么纯,那么简单,简单到我们是从头到尾彻彻底底的好朋友, 简单到我们好像从来没有在一起这回事!!
看来我在他的生命中真的是不再有什么价值了。
看得出,他开心,他精神,他神采奕奕,从头到脚都是崭新与活力。
可能离开我他才发现自己爱笑的眼睛。
我做错了什么??

单只这样就算了。
要命的是,就那么两秒钟,看着他的脸。
5个月没见到的脸。
还是那么可爱。

是的,我没救了。

shitttttttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tmd 5个月里面我胡思乱想了多少,努力了多少,我以为我很牛的出来了,我以为我坚信了他就是一不合适的人,我甚至还开始考虑别人的出现,tmd现在好了,他没事顶着一张脸在nus晃什么晃!!!!

更要命的是,居然。
居然还有一个声音在我心里面说,‘还想再看见你。’
??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wtf????!!!!!!!!

每次在science都处于一种神经质的状态。警觉得要命,有几次还认错人。
这样下去会出毛病的。
还是我已经出毛病了。。。
我怎么了我?他有什么好???

我死了。

Friday, August 10, 2007

rag, i'm coming

has been disappearing for quite long.

yes, i'm floating in the air.

has been sleeping at 3 or 4 or 5am for the past 2 weeks. and why am i blogging here now? cos the validators have come, and the production has officially stopped. a bit of free time before i set off to padang.

it has been the centre of my life for the past 2 months. final shot tomorrow.

sometimes it feels like just another make-believe of myself. do i really have that passion and love towards KE, and float, or i just need something to put my passion and love?

anyway, for just this once in my life, keep the thought simple.

Go KE! Go Floaters!

We are going to Chingay!

Can we do it?

YES!!!

ok! now go back to work.

=,=


Thursday, August 02, 2007

hmm... haha

about my last post. hmm... i realised that its not that bad... lol

tend to be a bit pessimistic these days. floating blues.


so for the one who cares about me, everything is ok =) its all the fault of my psychological disorder, which u said everyone also got XD

===

have been talking alot, mingling around alot, discussing/quarelling alot for the past few days. partly cos it was orientation period, and also its the chiong period for float. its just so easy to get mad.

must learn to self-control even more.

Monday, July 30, 2007

losing

finally.

i lost him as a good friend.

despite all the effort and sacrifice.

i should have known it right from the start.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

break

dinner break now.

for the first time since i started doing float i didnt go for dinner (yes yes i became v guai and never skip meal except for breakfasts XD). dun feel like eating =,=

did quite some engineering work for the past week. cutting wood, drilling, screwing. must admit that its really tiring. physically tiring. tools are heavy, not easy to control, and there is saw dust everywhere. so suffered from muscle ache and was totally shagged, dun want to move any of my body parts. but now much better le =)

quite proud of myself. i learnt the tools!

and learnt to use sewing machine also, successfully sew a small bag for static display. also it took like 10 years of time haha.

so i guess i'm really the one who tried every department's expertise? lol

===

now still not that convenient to post photos of our float. guess i will spam here with loads of photos after rag day. oh after i make up for my deprived sleep. but hmm i think i won't have the patience to wait for the slow uploading speed bcos there are sooooooo many pics so give up halfway. then drag drag till very late. lol hahaha

Thursday, July 26, 2007

我又来了。

在凌晨4点55分,大睁着双眼坐在电脑前等头发干 =.=

===

好累。

Monday, July 23, 2007

complex mood

feel myself getting weirder.

and weirder and weirder and weirder and weirder.

happy + not happly + sad + not sad + irritated + encouraged + feel i am at fault + feel other ppl are at fault + selfish + considerate (or trying to be)

come to think of it, perhaps the problem is that i pretend too much.

tired. and sometimes painful. and lonely.

i pretend in order to make other ppl happier. that's the only reason that can hold me on.

====

moved room from C318 to G511 in one shot yesterday.
Done it in 2 hours!!! with help from engseng, wuhong and qiaojie. thx guys!!!! we and shin will treat u all~ lol

organizing all the boxes and stuff plus clearing the bed so that we can slp took another 1 and a half hours. slept at 4+am. again.

i repeat:

1. KE7 is an excellent place to keep one fit (crazy vertical marathon everyday);

2. its sooooooooooooooooooo cool to walk with two FREE hands.

===

saw some good discriptions in tianya.

我们不会成为敌人,因为彼此深爱过。
我们不会成为朋友,因为彼此伤害过。
所以,我们只能是最熟悉的陌生人。

Saturday, July 21, 2007

major brain + body dysfunctioning

Congrats to myself! since dunno when, i find myself sleep earliest at 3am, while still need to get up b4 9:30am.

last nite was 5am. now today it looks like 4am.

full time floater~ really FULL-TIME. i anticipate the day when we burn 24/7.


and i cant run away from the fact that i need to move room at the same time when i am floating.

conclusion i draw:

1. KE7 is an excellent place to keep one fit (crazy vertical marathon everyday);

2. its sooooooooooooooooooo cool to walk with two FREE hands.

========

somehow happier today. perhaps because of the starbucks latte this afternoon. but still having a not-so-correct feeling.

its scary to realise that i'm doubting ourselves. right from the start.

are we doing the right thing?????? are we still on the track?

=========

freshies started to check in. hall is getting more and more re4 nao4.

which actually makes me happy, cos i like the way that there are happy people around most of the time.

i was a bit high tonite (or last nite?) when there were many freshies in comm hall, trying to help out with float dance. they look good =)

but erm, dunno why, sometimes suddenly feel, this is no longer the place i'm familiar with... no longer belong to me?
and... pi2 bei4. tired. when the happy and happening atmosphere lasts for too long.

i think i'm really really tired. every part of the body. paralysed. sweaty. panting. shivering. dizzy.

很累。很累。很累很累很累……

Friday, July 20, 2007

shitty, and getting shittier.

四周弥漫着不愉快的空气。

有些人就是有本事把你的小宇宙蹭地一下点燃起来。

我们提倡用脑和心去思考,而不是脊椎。

心直口快并不是缺点,好为人师和随便shoot人就是尊重与不尊重的问题了。

要快乐,要开朗,要坚韧,要温暖。   

要温暖。

这和性格无关。

kane的tag line很罕见的生气粗暴。月婷的也很罕见的沮丧。明恩的也是。妙宝的一如既往。

seng老板郁闷着,而且生了病。歆以及整个design team都处在随时要爆的边缘。

这是怎么了?????

想喊,想打人,想吵,想翻桌,想回家。

啊!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 啊!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 啊!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, July 16, 2007

ice cream

ate a mint choco ice cream with bread on the way back from tuition. so nice~

life is good.

===

不知道怎么回事,最近总是想到某人。
做着东西的时候确实比较好过。专心不乱。但一歇下来我就歇了。做什么也想到,去哪里也想到,看什么电影也想到,吃什么steamboat也想到。好巧不巧又碰到NDP rehearsal. Sigh.
总不能一直不停做工到死吧?=S

可能因为六、七月我们之间有意义的日子比较多。还是只是我认为有意义=.=

稀里糊涂想了很多东西,写出来又将是长篇大论。应该不值得那个篇幅吧。无非是一些自傲跟自卑的混合物。
确实还需要一些日子。

===

传言淡下去了。挺好。
其实不应该被大家发现的。考试前在study room一起读书太明显了吧。
挺后悔的。那时‘就这样了’还不久,学业又一直很stressed着,没能控制住想找个肩膀的心思吧。

“我们只是很自私很贪心地想寻找一点安慰。虽然毫无恶意,但在那一刻的冲动,我们都无法控制心里的空虚寂寞伤心难过,……而我们在拥抱的时候,无意中狠心地践踏了对方的尊严,把他当成毫无价值的安慰奖。”

大头芬的世界还是很有道理的。佩芬挺有才。

被人追固然不是坏事,但因此开始翘脚享受,占着茅坑不拉屎,让那个人付出,等待,受伤,那就太不厚道了。我自己都不能容我自己。

错。被人追就是坏事。

还是一个人安安静静好好读书读过这3年好了。不麻烦别人,自己也自由。

give myself a pat at the back! 我还假装蛮伟大的。偷笑一个。哈哈。

Saturday, July 14, 2007

这年头

人人都有些小思想小哲学,但都不怎么太深刻。

人人都有点小才,但都只限于爱好;读书才是正道。

人人都有点忧伤的往事,无忧无虑的简单孩子凤毛麟角。

奇了怪了。

Friday, July 13, 2007

my own prob

yoz, happy birthday! congrat for being able to watch R21 movie from now on liaoz haha

thx dan =)

free on sunday? want to have dinner together? need to pass u something also.

erm, i'm quite busy these few weeks leh. need to settle a lot of things. another timing ba. how's life on ur side?

hvnt died yet. half dead thou. busy with hall stuff. ok then. u any sunday free u tell me la.

hvnt die, not died. muz slp more lo..

====

interpretation from the hopelessly (and selectively) sensitive woman aka me:

1. u are fine. and if not happier, happy,
2. ur life is busy and enriched,
3. i'm no longer special in any tiny little single way in ur life. except that maybe u still think u have the 资格 to comment on my english (and unfortunately, u corrected wrongly),

without me.

so i see u r better off without me. it should be the case, or else why u wanted a breakup. but still.

such a failure. i was ur burden when i thought i was ur source of happiness. LOL at myself.

我没那么伟大。只要你过得比我好,狗屁

为什么不心痛哪怕一点点,在乎哪怕一点点,对我特别哪怕一点点

气你,也气我自己

靠


发泄完了,收拾一下
给一个微笑,对你说只要你过得比我好

=逼自己伟大 让自己好过=

Thursday, July 12, 2007

irritated

by wat? i also dunno...

during discussion with designers just now, suddenly got frustrated and irritated. 好像经常形容的那样,心里头有把火噌地就冒上来了。

可能是我太喜欢自己的观点。或许是我太反对乔杰的意见(一个小时之前我们还聊得极度投机)。大概是meeting and brainstorm到了极限开始反胃。也许是我的涵养还不够好。

恩,最后一点应该最重要吧。

克制了很久,终于忍不住流露了一点,在乔杰还没停止说话的时候就耐不住开口。

跟之前的讨论都不一样。稍稍注意就能心平气和微笑着表达意见的我,脸上的微笑跟和气我留都留不住。突然就有气。不想笑,不想笑。只想板着脸。

我不爽。不爽不爽不爽。不爽!!

重要原因,歆一直板着个脸,一反常态。从没见过她这么不可爱,心情突然间大跌。朋友还是很重要的。

也没什么具体理由。就是不爽。

没人可以让我发泄一下,就排泄在这里。把这里弄得人人都看不到还是有用处的。

饿。累。烦躁。低落。就是这样。

Sunday, July 08, 2007

drunk.

ok. my blood is having high alcohol concentration right now.

thanks colin for bringing me the vodka =)

i'm now in the kind of state that if tilt a bit, will fall down that kind. hand also a bit like floating, must type a few times in order to get the correct thing i want to type..

but still 清醒。the logic of this entry 为证。

somehow addicted to this dizzy and floating feeling. haha.

still left with half a bottle of vodka. colin u want to have a try? wait for u to come back la ha

looks like me and ellen have to sleep with kane tonite again. cos shin and seng occupied kane's room. after drinking.

kane himself also drank abit.

so now he is asleep, like a dead pig. haha


somehow today's vodka taste not as nice as last time's one. maybe bcos i forgot to buy sprite, so we drank the pure 40% thing on its own. and also bcos last time i indeed have some 烦恼。now dun have, so no motivation to drink also. lol~

yeah! i'm so 幸福。dun have 烦恼。

constantly remind myself that i'm very 幸福 already, considering i'm now happily studying in singapore, having enough food, shelter and human right, and still have the luxury of listening to music and eat good nice food. and watch movies and blog.

emotion and love are basically luxuary. and rubbish.

o, last friday was fashion show. will post the pictures after i get hold of them.

this wednesday was the float initiation. seniors poured yellow emulsion paint on juniors.... until now the emulsion on my hair still cannot be totally removed. so yellow. eeeeee

tmr many floaters are gg to jb. i'm not, cos got tuition, and celebration of ball's bdae. wahaha. have sometime alone~ paik chin is not here and will only be back tmr nite. or shld i say tonite.

disclaimer: i have officially settled on and closed about the junzhe issue. friends friends. any deviation from wat i disclaimed or meant can be considered as only a 没事找事 or a desperation resulted from a lack of 烦恼. wahaha

still dizzy. nite ppl.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

when can i be

星期天做完家教,明明就要倒了,却临时决定要去逛逛。

现在的我应该会说……去走。呵呵,都是马来西亚人害的。

很久没有去逛街,更久没有一个人去逛街。其实本来也就不太能够理解花钱以及走路的结合有何乐趣,更何况我并不打算在搬家前夕加重自己的家当。

奇怪。突然想去走走。可能是因为想散步又想吹空调吧。哈哈。

baleno减价,正好缺一件外套,进去弄了件。试衣间里看到镜子里的自己,换了眼镜换了发型,感觉有点陌生。好久没认真照照镜子了。

boon lay 的 kopitiam,又叫了炒虾面。你就知道,对吧?

不知道是什么日子,mrt里车站里好多阿兵哥。一样的发型,一样的眼镜,一样的行头。不可能不想,毕竟是我们的两年。

在buona vista 的车站等车,极其幼稚地在恍惚中看到某人的影子。当然不是他。used to be而已。

不能不能这样哦阿蛋。再怎么着你也被球夸过不是。你飞扬着呢,过去的就统统让它们滚蛋吧!哇哈哈!

by the time when i can be smiling instead of tearing when thinking about you
and recall our memories
i get over it

Sunday, July 01, 2007


falling down...

i'm the london bridge =,=

tot i couldnt go for the soccer match and national stadium closing ceremony 7pm yesterday and the movie after that, because mr. colin is coming back from france to singapore his own room ( i'm holding his key) for 12 hrs. this master tot june has 31 days, so he happily tot that if the air tickets say he would reach singapore 1pm 30 june and leave singapore for china at 1am 1 july, he could stay in singapore for more than 1 whole day =,=

好想拜他

and... he nv on his hp until some time around... 5pm? i was thinking wat happened =,= moral behind the story, nv ever take sri l**ka airline, cos it can delay for 3 times.

so after i sadly sent off my float friends (i really want to go for the match!), he came back. and this master again check the ticket of his flight to china and told me its 10am... instead of 1am =,=

wah*** why cant i go for the stadium then??

and mr colin decided to go as well, since there are 2 extra tickets. so we rush off for that, haha.

it was grand. to watch a soccer match live in a big stadium feels really different. really shiok! so many people, so many cheerings, different styles of cheerings! plus some of us invested some money in supporting one of the two teams, singapore and australia, the match must be more ecxcited and tensed to them =,=
team singapore is better than i expected. some of the players are really skilful with their legs. they created quite a number of chances in scoring a goal by breaking the opponent's defence (that's when ppl all stand up and the cheering got louder and fiercer), but they are a bit sui i think... 3:0, aus won, as people expected.
and i experienced the famous kallang wave for 3 times! hehe


some of us who went =) still got alot ppl not in the pic~

after the match was the closing ceremony for national stadium of singapore. this grand old dame, as many ppl like to call it, is going to be torn down. today it was the last match played in this stadium, and the kallang wave i experienced was the last one as well. sounds quite sad... i'm not a singaporean, so i'm not particularly emotional about this place. but i think the locals should have a lot of fond memories with this place. s'pore ppl like to talk about 'common experience' rite. lol

they invited a lot of athletes and soccer players who have brought s'pore glory when they played in this stadium. and also kit chan. it's a rather simple ceremony, but the lighting effect was superb. one funny thing is that at the start of the ceremony the sound system cocked up a bit... considering it's a national event~ hehe

after the ceremony most of our ppl were gg for a midnite movie at orchard. i didnt plan to go cos i need to get up early to see colin off, so i didnt book ticket online with them. but again, our mr. colin says he wants to go =,= =,=... ok lo then, since the one who is gg to travel dun want to sleep. so we bought two more tix and went for 'transformer'!

nice movie! story a bit far-fetched, but still not bad. must watch, and must watch in a nice cinema to get the good sound and visual effects! all the guys who went became obsessed with it after they walk out of the cinema. kane and engseng bought the pvc transformers the next day... =,= o, i like bumblebee the best btw. i supposed to have watched the transformer anime when i was very young, but i forgot everything expect for their chinese translation, which is 变形金刚...

and by the time we back to hall, it was already 4+pm. i brought colin to comm hall and lounge and foyer to have a look at our float. it was at this time when i realised we have done so much! looks like i have focused too much in my own stuff. colin gave very high comments on this yr's float, sort of surprised me because i didnt expect such high comments, and give me some confidence. u kno maybe because we are the ones who are doing this, i'm too used to picking up on thing we have done. so... maybe we did better than i think. good.

then bathe. hungry, so ate cup noodle. chitchat with colin and his friend for a while. by the time i slpt, it was 6+am. and... engseng was still in my room =,= =,= =,=

got up at 7:40am to see colin off. back at abt 11am, slp again until 1pm. then... ate lunch and go for tuition... my tuitee suddenly want to change it from 3pm to 4:30pm when i was about to board the bus! grrr. i slacked a bit until 3:45pm, but missed the a2. decided to walk behind pgp to take 30, but didnt kno it was so far away... since it was my 1st time taking this route and given the fact that i was still dreaming, i stood in the bustop on the wrong side and waved in vain to the bus on the other side of the road =,= =,= missed one bus as a result, and waited for 20 mins for the next one...

tuition. suddenly decided to go boon lay to have a walk alone after that. alone.

so yah, collapsing. falling down.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

@.@

firstly, let me declare today as special because...

we were actually back to room and finished bathing before it goes to the next day!

LOL.

====

and today when i was bathing i suddenly thought through something.

朋友。还是做朋友。

不管我是否喜欢,这样都比较好吧。

难得的谈得来的好朋友,希望可以长久。恩。

不想像跟扬一样的结局。像跟小雨一样的细水长流多好。

恋爱的感觉或许诱人,但它也算是一个碰不得的死穴吧,至少对于我这种不愿失去生命中每一个值得珍惜的朋友的人。想想,跟戴天,小雨,egg,狼这些男性朋友的关系多好。辛月和奕璋,算是踩进了雷区的边缘吧,都曾郁闷得差点剪断所有联系。扬,不用多说了吧。

尤其是在1年后他会离开两年的情况下。对朋友的思念是比较不会淡去的那种,不是么?

一定要那么想的话,就当一个考验,或者说测试吧。3年之后会是怎样,就到那时顺其自然,好不好?=)

enjoy the time being single~ when we can still have plenty of time with a big circle of close friends =D dun prison ourselves into the two-ppl's world so fast mah...rite? LOL

NO TIME FOR BOYS! YEAH!

hope i can keep the above thoughts for long...haa

===

btw. today, model main body DONE! yay~~

i love my 小白! haha

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

回来

快点回来吧,有一点想看你的脸 =)

very tired day. partly because of the late sleep last nite, resulted from some stupid reasons, and partly the modelling work. didn't eat much. installed 40 pillars, and really worry about their endurance of tension. but anw.

met colin on msn in the afternoon. chatting with him somehow makes my mood better.

we are just perfect friends. why do u love me and tell me u love me?

just now when i was back in my bad mood, and had nothing to do (the only thing i wanted to do is the present. but i cant cos no space. and got too many ppl watching). wanted to find some close friends to talk to. shin v tired, ball not online. thought of u, quite badly.

but i cant talk to you, cos u are no longer in the position that can listen to me over things about him. about yang. rite?

it hurts u. and makes me uncomfortable also, cos it's like i'm making use of ur love or playing with ur love. which is extremely unfair.

wanted to tell u the first sentense at the beginning of this entry. but still, i refrained myself from typing it out on msn. still feel the urge to write it down somewhere, so i put it here, where u cant see. try not to be scandulous, when i hvnt giv u any positive answer.

we stepped out of the friend zone at the moment when i understand ur love is sincere. and irriversibly. now i'm left alone to make up my mind for this important thing, having to differetiate between some forever confusing things, and trying to follow my heart, which i dunno where it is, and at the same time trying not to hurt anyone that might get involved in this matter.

shit.

miss u, friend.

Monday, June 25, 2007

this day...

kept thinking... about some.

good that lately i have to do the model. can think less.

wat's the point anyway? i have made the decision.

gone. he won't be mine. maybe he never was.

he is just a shy kid, who i kno will be on a different track with me.

so many things i dun like about him, so many complains i can make about this relationship. i know it won't have a 'happy' ending. it won't. it won't. it won't.

maybe the only i cant let go until now is the feeling.

how he caught my attention without doing anything especially for me to see.

how comfortable i find his voice is, his way of talking, walking, moving about is.

yes, yes, i have criteria and expectations for my mr. right. and he violates almost all of them.

how perfect it will be if it's HIM who meets all of them...


these are precisely all the stupid and meaningless psychology description i used to laugh at in those lousy cheap love serials... wat can i do now? laugh at myself and give myself a punch.

this will be the last time that this date mean something to me.



= happy 3rd anniversary...

or will u be happier if u forget it's our anniversary =

Sunday, June 24, 2007

dreamt again...

looks like i dream more often le...

dreamt of national stadium last nite =.= =.=.... it was been torn down, can see workers hammering off the concretes and bricks. then i remembered i saw the cauldron from the back of stadium, where there is a water cooler. i also saw some human shaped board without heads, like those for tourists to take photos of themselves fitting their heads in...

cool.

我真的中毒了。

from 16 hours daily on stadium model...

Saturday, June 23, 2007

finally!...

finally it comes!

... although there will be pain, bad mood, and a lot of troubles coming together with it, i still appreciate the fact that it finally comes, after a good count of 54 days...

time to take care of myself?

i try la. can only try, considering the fact that i have been working for float on the model from 9am to 1am next day for the past 3 days.

Friday, June 22, 2007

拥抱



能够被拥抱,真的是一件很幸福的事情。

Thursday, June 21, 2007

tired

very tired today...

just came back not long ago. just bathed, and now gg to slp.

weird. never feel such tiredness these few days.maybe it's from the pasting of hundreds over 1*5mm staircases on the model. or the discussion.or some other things.

with a not so good mood also...

anwz


really really tired... without a single bit of strength...

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

what is that supposed to be?

last nite, i once again slpt on the same bed with a GUY.

Kane fled to our room with his pillow, and slpt between me and ellen on the king size bed made up by two single beds.

and the day before, engseng slpt in our room on this bed.

and a few days ago, ellen went to her aunt's house. i fled to kane's room and slpt on the same bed with him and ah kok.

not forgetting that vodka nite, when five of us, shin, engseng, ellen, kane and me fell unconscious in our room on the same bed.

==

for those who know, u can see the problem here. rite?

not that i mind. just that... is that a couple supposed to be?

or i shouldnt use the phrase 'supposed to'. =S

anw...

i understand them perfectly. the feeling of having the loved one to hug u to sleep is so sweet and unresistable. and it is the most wonderful thing that the first thing u see when u open ur eyes in the morning is the lovely face of ur guy/ ur gal.

and i know they won't cross the line. well, at least for the time being.

so actually i'm quite glad to give up my bed to them, although i will suan them whenever i can =P

but somehow... still feel weird. is it becos it's too fast? erm...

a bit worried. the feeling is seductive, but it can reach a climax fast also... then be gone fast as well...

dunno. if i just put myself in their shoes, i will surely hope my friend can give me chance to be alone with my guy one. so i cant apply a different standard on other people.

but... aiyohhhhhhh

grr.

Monday, June 18, 2007

finally! start doing the actual model!

after so many times of trial and error, so many times of testing different materials and approaches, we finally embarked on the actual model building this morning!!

strictly speaking, we started last week, if taking into account all the calculation and measurement work for planning.

so what we did today was to go to archi lab and cut the boards with different shapes. freezed in the lab for 3+hrs, after many times of trial and error (again) and mistakes, we managed to get some products. after we went back, we couldnt wait but to start building with the cut boards...

it was nice! =D

dun want our competitors to see my blog and get to know what we are doing, so i shall not say anything more here. want to know more? come to Rag Day 2007 and cheer for KE7's float! its gonna be awesome XD. 11 Aug 2007, evening, at Padang near city hall MRT. Cya all!!


another thing that is nice is the feeling that time runs fast when i was working on hands-on stuff... yup =)

=专心漂浮=

Saturday, June 16, 2007

did this

yes i did this stupid childish thing.

its true that i really want to share something with people around me, things that are interesting and happy. but other things, i'm still not used to expose them fully to many people.

it seems getting out of control. so... sorry.

wish to stop ppl from perceiving this act as a ranking or prioritising of my friends. i dun mean this at all.

late le.

=====

I hate the way you talk to me,
And the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car,
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots
And the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick,
It even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you're always right,
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh,
Even worse when you make me cry
I hate it when you're not around,
And the fact that you didn't call
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you,
Not even close
Not even a little bit
Not even at all.

= 10 things i hate about you=

Thursday, June 14, 2007

better dayz... =)

since we have decided on doing a model, days look much better now... maybe it's not the major reason, but who cares XD

bcos bcos bcos, for static rite, most of our job is brain labour, so we were like trying to squeeze out our brain juice to link our float with the concept, think about how to present the float in a static state without all the special effects and changes of scenes, how to psycho the judges to gove more pts etc etc... which may sound simple, but actually NOT. i'd rather do some hands-on things, which have some concrete final product, rather than having endless brainstorming ALL THE TIME, think of ideas, quarrel over ideas, vote, persuade people who dun agree, idea rejected, everything not finalised until the rag day itself.

the saddest thing is that quite a number of people still DUNNO what static does! honestly it feels bad, cos when people come to me and ask "你们static到底是干嘛的阿??", i feel like other people see us like doing nothing down here, cos they see us as always facing laptop, or talking among ourselves, or going insult other people, blah blah blah. maybe not that extreme, but something like that. but but but, its only my feeling, i kno people may not think in that way =) and thank ppl who asked, at least u all still bother to ask =,=b

so when we can finally start on doing the model, we can finally do something that gives us a concrete product. plus, we can really show other people WE ARE WORKING~ although we have always been working..

lol

today we static team went to the stadium tour, had a really good look at the 'grand old dame'. quite confident that we can do a nice and precise model of the stadium. dun play play k, we even went count the no. of pillars XD. then we went plaza singapura and orchard to buy materials. had a fun time there! maybe bcos i drank a cup of starbucks ice latte (heavenly feeling~ got quite high as a result XD). haha. any material we saw we also could laugh at it. beads, clay, mosses, styrofoam, sand paper etc. etc. ... LOL. then at orchard when we were looking around for materials, we entred this store selling toys. saw a lot of wooden toys i used to play when i was young! like the animal-shaped trolly thingy, when u drag it will move with mouth open close, or shake their heads, or move the bodies... and also other wooden toys, cute and childish... we three were like 返老还童 at that time! and we have to keep reminding ourselves that 我们已经长大了~ to prevent us from being overjoyed. major LOL

one not-so-good thing. we walked A LOT today. walked from hall to buona vista flyover to take bus 14, then the 2 hours stadium tour (climb up and down...), took but from stadium to ps, but 1+ hours walking in the huge Spotlight store, then walk from ps to ngee ann city... 2+ hours walking in there, then... since we couldnt find the right bustop on the on-way orchard road, we walked towards a wrong direction for about 5mins, then have to walk back when we realised we were not heading to any bustop...

anw

stil happy. for the time being =)

o yesterday, i mean wednesday nite, i had a dream again! i remembered it when i just woke up on thursday morning, but now i can hardly recall anything... =S but... i think it was a happy dream also =D

congrats to YY, for finishing his studies in NUS... miss u quite a bit, muz come back frequently before i meet u in MOE k? lol

and congrats to colin too, for being the 2nd person in history to be admitted in ISE while still in the double degree programme! =D

飘走~

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Sunday, June 10, 2007

祝福

finally. one asked, one answered.

暧昧告一段落。good or bad? actually i dunno.

maybe the 暧昧 period is the sweetest and happiest period. after 捅破窗户纸, things start becoming down to earth, and love starts mixing with responsibility inevitably.

well, i choose to take that as a test to both people in this couple.

3am today, i directed a 赶人的故事, mercilessly kicked somebody out from our room. dun blame me ok, i really hope u two can last long, so i hope u control a bit at the start.

to shin: congratulations. love whole-heartedly, dun doubt him or urself easily, but at the same time try to protect urself a bit. however, dun be afraid of getting hurt. love has a price.

to seng: congratulations, u've got a wonderful gf. love her with all ur heart, protect her and stand beside her as a man.

=====

希望你能当我宝贝
你一定不会后悔
我只有一个要求
就是要对你好
永远不让你流泪
永远都不让你心碎
希望你相信我
我们在一起好吗

Saturday, June 09, 2007

=)

some pic i took at home =)

hmm... looks like some messy plant huh...

it's... ... ... ... POTATO!
yes! we plant potato on our balcony! my almighty mom!!

mom loves flowers. she always buy v cheap flowers, then cut and tidy them up, arrange them really nicely.

康乃馨~ i think all these cost... 3 rmb?

simple but amazing flower. 栀子花. yes, it is the one. super strong but very 清新 fragrance.

I love this! 黄玫瑰 and 紫边康乃馨~ soooo pretty....

seldom buy cherry in S'pore, bcos they r simply too ex. so i ate a lot at home...

among all the cherries my dad bought, there are 3 with this weird shape~ i personally maintain that it looks like 屁股~ lol. and there r 3 屁股s, just nice for mom, dad and me! ROFL

i showed the picture above to my mom, she said 没有拍出屁股的感觉 =,=b so i re-took~

ok ok no more joke. this is the standard ones. so cute and pretty =D


o, must mention our daily morning excercises...

omg! my mommy's 韧带 really flexible man!

our family~ can u see my dad is trying to show muscle? major LOL

ok on the last day home, the breakfast before i went to the airport, there was llllllllllllllots of good food...........

特写~
银耳雪梨~ very thick and sweet!...

珍珠肉丸~ minced pork coated with glutinous rice.. i know how to cook this also. nice in terms of both look and taste!!

酒酿鸡蛋元宵!arhhh cant stand it. my favourate dessert!!!! the 酒酿 is not the packed one bought in supermarket some more. it was bought from hawker on the street! soooo 难得!!!the supermarket ones are all so plain and tasteless...

i'm drooling ='(

Thursday, June 07, 2007

i said those words. i have to keep what i have said.

i fight with myself everyday. i stone whenever i can. whenever i'm not working for float, my brain is completely messy with all these rubbish. for many times i have the urge of telling u everything, taking u in the way i want, but at last i have to hold all back. its not a good experience. at all. but sorry, i still choose to believe that to simply follow my heart is an act of 任性, selfishness and irresponsibility.

dun want to hurt anyone, including myself, any more. i shall wait. patience is a virtue.

===

have to write this out, cos otherwise i might over-suppress myself to death. to my readers, please dun simply conclude what i mean. it may not be in the way u think. this entry is for myself to understand only. yup.

sorry if i sound offensive.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

you are great

you said it is great to have someone to love. and u said in that sense u r great.

yes u are, indeed.

u actually believe firmly that u love someone. it is love, not like, not anything else. how did u achieve that?

and u love her even if she is not what u expected. u love her even if she nv give u a definite answer, or rejected u.

ur heart is so big, with so little hesitation.

i envy u.

Monday, June 04, 2007

i've got potential

the nite before last nite shin, seng, kane, ellen and me had a vodka nite. i realise i really have the potential of being a 酒国英雄... really, no joke!

come to think of it, i love 酒心巧克力 more than any other chocolates ever since i tasted my first chocolate. and 酒酿 is always one of my favourate food. so haha, its not surprising at all.

bought a bottle of 40% vodka absolute from the airport when i came back to singapore, cos it's a waste not to buy some duty-free alcohol drink when u passby the airport. had a little bit with colin for farewell before he went to france, then the rest, which is about 0.8 liter, we finished it within one nite!

it was the first time i experience a likely 醉酒. disclaimer first, i was not 借酒消愁ing, like in some 三流爱情连续剧 ok. i was just curious, what it would be like if i drink a bit more. at first i still took the trouble of mixing vodka with sprite. after awhile i lazy already, just drink pure vodka. kane taught me how to drink in 'shots': pour a bit into cup, then pour it into ur throat without letting it stop in ur mouth. then exhale with ur nose. woah... i must have drank over 10 shots...

so in the end i could tell i started to be a bit shaky. and i had quite some difficulty in holding the bottle steadily when i pour vodka, also couldn't really walk in a straight line. head was very heavy, had some tendency of falling down all the time. but i can say my mind was still very clear, and i knew what i was doing. i can still remember wat i did that nite. and i was not really 冲动, and say all the rubbish without controlling myself. i controlled myself well, and didn't tell any secret of myself, perhaps because i dun have secret to tell in the first place. the only only weird thing was that i remembered i cried twice and i hugged shin so that the other 3 ppl couldnt see me crying. i also dunno why. haha.

so in conclusion, 酒精影响了我的神经,但并没有影响精神. those words written in those lousy novels and stories are rubbish.

all the 5 ppl slept in our room for that nite (shin, ellen and me have this room, seng and kane are guys having a room downstairs), cos both seng and kane drank quite a bit and didn't really bother to move back to their room. 5 people on two single beds wow... really v 壮观. i was in the middle, next to shin and ellen. lucky all 5 of us quite slim (LOL), but still very squeezy....

during his sleep, seng had put his arm knowingly or unknowlingly around shin, who slept like a dead pig. seng, dun let her wait for too long k? i know u love her and she loves u. dun keep waiting for the so called 时机, which nobody knows when to come. u two have mutual love. it's precious. go ahead and get it, please.

these few days quite hot. prefer west wing!! that nite also. i woke up once and went out to get some fresh air, with a head still super heavy. 3 hrs after i went back, i woke up again and fled to my chair, cos i could hardly move when two beds are paked with 5 ppl. i slept for the rest of 1 hour on the chair =,=

enjoy drinking that time. maybe i still drank too little.

=========================

float started on 1 June. today had quite a productive meeting. i like the feeling of keeping myself busy. and btw, to that person in france, enjoy k, and be careful, dun get cheated by ppl. euros are expensive ;)

Saturday, June 02, 2007

you

i tot it was simple and straightforward, at most a bit troublesome or guilty in expressing it.

now i start doubting myself AGAIN.

can i just dun always think too much and just do what a gal is supposed to do?
CANNOT.

that's my problem. hurt him. hurt her. hurt myself. hurt everyone.

and i'm still acting like a hypocrite, saying with crocodile's tears that 'oh no i dun want to hurt anyone!'

wat a freakingly terrible person i am.

hope my decision to this thing is correct. or rather non-disastrous. although i have a feeling that it is gonna be the opposite way.

wat on earth do u want, woman

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

last day

有首歌叫 first day 的。有叫 last day 的么?

等下睡觉,醒来就去机场,然后离开南京飞到广州,再从广州飞到某岛,重新捡起忙碌的生活。

大学以来第一个之后没有考试,也不用从头忙到尾的一个月假期就这么结束了…… 享受它的时候说自己悠闲得成精了,现在站在它的尾巴尖上,还真是意犹未尽阿~

很累。不多说。新加坡见。

Sunday, May 27, 2007

我竟然忘记了跟你同桌了多少日子。

你当然不会记住的,只有我这种无聊人才会去记这种无聊的东西吧。问题是我竟然忘了!

在南京的记忆止于初三毕业的那个夏天。小学的时候还太无知,初中生活大概是这15年里最熠熠生辉的日子,因为某些人。

我说过我自己是活在回忆里的人,搞得我自己好像特念旧,一副情深意重的样子。现在我忘了,进步了还是退步了?

就这么自自然然的忘了。有了新朋友,忘了老朋友。或许脑容量有限,要存新东西就要挤一些东西出去。但也别挤这个阿。

但我当然还没有忘记这个人。我们之间别的事情,别的细节。或许那个数字本来就是我刻意记在脑子里用来表示我的情深意重的。忘掉了反而少了做作,也好。

其实也没有很刻意。当时调座位的时候真的极度伤心,于是回去扒着日记本数天数,悲壮地告诉自己一定要记住我们同桌了多少天。其实到现在我还记得一个那个数字里有一个7,不过也不重要了。记得支离破碎的有什么用。

我自己知道你在我心里的分量和位置。大家都变了,兴趣变了,观念变了,甚至感觉都有些变了,但有些东西就是没变。

当初没有谈恋爱,真的是最最庆幸的选择。=)

another Beijing 2008 Video!



this is a collection of 迎奥运 讲文明 树新风 videos and olympics advertisements broadcasted in CCTV.

每次我看一遍,都会憧憬一遍,澎湃一遍,感动一遍。

i know some ppl have stereotypical views on us PRCs. i admit that overall, as a matter of fact, our overall 素质 is not that good as Singaporeans. But first, it depends on individuals; second, Singapore is more manageable becos of its small size and small population as compared to PRC; and lastly, we know our defects, and we are on the way of correcting it.

make us proud. we can do it.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

a proper dream

昨晚做了一个极诡异的梦。
我做梦就已经够诡异的了,居然这个梦还很真实,让我难得地分不出是在梦里呢还是在现实。要知道我平时难得做个梦都特清醒地知道我是在做梦啊。

我好像触犯了法律。于是被判刑要进监狱。
被我触犯的那条法律好像很荒谬,就因为我的一句话。而且我好像是被陷害的。梦里都很清楚的,现在不记得了。
我特不敢相信,觉得好好的怎么就这样了。还想着完了完了,我的档案上从此有抹不去的污点了。还想到警察的电脑屏幕上闪烁着我的资料。
没有什么搞笑的感觉。我完全是身临其境了。后来有点悲壮的味道。我周围的朋友都认为我是被诬陷的,连警察也这么想。后来还特许同意我参加我一直在准备的舞蹈大赛(是hiphop的,这有点奇怪,可能最近这种舞看多了),跟一个女孩子搭档,我反串男孩子。很大的舞台,很亮的灯光。演出前台上有很大的投影屏放着新闻联播,整个场馆里的人一起看。我跳得很卖力,特悲壮。
其实没有这么简单的。很多细节,包括跟诬蔑我的女孩子的对质,围绕着那句要命的话的反反复复的纠葛,演出前后台的人来人往,全部都跟真的一样。
出现的人也都应该是熟悉的人,因为我在这个梦里不记得有碰到不认识的朋友。但现在就是想不起来了,一个都想不起来了。尤其那个跟我搭档跳舞的女孩子,我应该很熟悉她的,可就是想不起来。
忘了是怎么醒的了,但记得那份发现自己是在做梦的讶异和庆幸。

某些有能耐的帮我解个梦吧……比如某些学psycho的人类……
PS: 20 minutes to release of my results… haha

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

surrounded by simple but amazing things...

(had this entry as draft long ago... but just uploaded the photo ;) )

半个小时之前还只不过是挂在店铺里淹没在无数其他布料间的一匹布。

半个小时之后,它作为可以平平整整、完完美美套在我床垫上的新床单套,漂漂亮亮的飘扬在明亮的阳台上~


喜欢化腐朽为神奇的手~ 劳动者万岁 =)

in curly hair now~~

i was forced...

ok i admit it was me myself who want to make some changes to my hair. spent 3 hrs in a hair salon introduced by a good friend, and now i'm back in this whole chunk of smelly keratin which has its disulphide bonds broken and reformed by some smelly chemicals...

i told the hair maker what i want, but he did a different thing!

真理:所有人在理发师剪下都是任人宰割的羔羊……

it still look okay when it was just done. but after i combed it just now, it looks really... well, should i say unusual?

YY and colin, hope i won't give u heart attack at the airport.

>.<

Friday, May 18, 2007

too free, so think too much~

太闲的人就是这样欠扁。吃饱了喝足了在这里无病呻吟。

1. 推车
家附近有一座桥。出门时经常经过,需要自己把自行车推上一段楼梯台阶。也不是很费力。反正是必经之路,权当练臂力。
今天走过那段台阶,走着走着忽然觉得手上的车轻了很多。我赶紧说谢谢阿,回头一看,是个老妪在帮忙推着。刚刚看到她站在台阶上,也没在意,虽然她似乎是一直在往我的方向看,嘴唇嗫嚅着,一只手也微微前伸,有点讨钱的意思。我的原则是不施舍给只摊着手要钱的人,我强调劳动所得。可能她也是不好意思只讨钱的,于是就在我的车经过她的那一霎那伸手推了一把,算是付出了点体力。
车到了台阶顶,我回头看她。她有点慌,好像解释一样的说姑娘我看你推得费劲我就帮一把。
一顶草帽,旧衣服,身上有些脏,手里提一只破麻袋。干干瘦瘦,皱皱巴巴的农村老太太。眼神很迷茫。
我停下车,再次谢谢她,塞给她两元钱。不是讨来的。是劳动所得。
她一下子很激动,握着两个硬币开始千恩万谢。她的话我并不能完全听懂,大概是说她儿子离开家十年没有音信,她来南京找儿子,找不到,没有钱,好久没吃东西了。‘都想跳进这河里算喽!’带了哭腔。
我一下子有些不知所措。只能拍拍她的肩,告诉她不要再烈日当头的下午一直这么站着等推车,坐下歇歇,然后赶紧买点吃的去。说完后告别,有那么一点点落荒而逃的意思。
说落荒而逃,并不是指我怕遇到骗子。而是有些无地自容。
我一边赶路一边想,两元钱能买到什么吃的?烧饼?馒头?稍微好一点的一碗面可能她也舍不得买吧。
当我们毫不犹豫地用20新元去买一件无关紧要的饰品的时候,他们在想着怎样用两元人民币买到最多的食物。
当我们吃饱了喝足了欠扁地无病呻吟,他们在担心儿子的去向和自己的肚子。
无意去思考她的话的可信程度。假的又怎样?有很多人确实生活在这样的窘境里。
一些人或许并不比另一些人笨或者懒惰。他们只是没有那样的背景,那样的机会。比如农村的孩子比城里的孩子,比如小贩的孩子比知识分子的孩子。所以注定要付出更多,突破更多障碍去得到同样的东西。
另一些人有什么理由看不起他们?
这世界真不公平。

有时候很想把全世界的财富集合起来,再平均分配。凭什么有些人那么轻松就那么富,有些人那么艰辛却还那么穷?
尽管我知道应该放眼大局,但我总是为身边遇到的个人的伤心事挂怀。所以我注定成不了大事。

2. 为他人着想?
跟妈妈一起回家,在一个十字路口遇到红灯。
妈妈停车等红灯。这没什么问题。问题在于,她停在最最右边,紧靠着路边,因为她想踩着那高出地面一截的路边。方便。
前面停满了人。在南京的十字路口,自行车是可以随时向右拐的(根新加坡相反,我们靠右行)。自行车道最右边大概半米宽的一块是应该留给想向右拐的人走的。
这就表示,我妈这么一停,她一个人就把向右拐的人的路挡住了。
我就说了,妈你这不是挡道儿了吗?
我妈看看旁边说,这不还有地方嘛,他们可以拐着走啊。
我就无语了。怎么能为了自己方便,这么不替别人着想?

但我妈对熟人都是很替人着想的。对学生(我妈是老师),同事,亲戚,从来都是先考虑别人再考虑自己。包括对刚认识的人甚至是生人,都特别热心。

怪!

一对一的时候,或者说at a personal level,有了具体的交往,就很热心,很为人着想。
面对大众这个抽象概念的时候,就不然了。

其实好像整个南京的人都是这样。南京最让我讨厌的地方就是它的交通。有些地方红绿灯形同虚设,大街上人和车一起横冲直撞,摩托在自行车道上行驶还不停的摁喇叭,小巷子里更是自行车汽车摩托车助力车鱼龙混杂鸡飞狗跳,半天开不出一条路,喇叭都是按得山响。试想一个外地人或外国人看了会怎么想……南京市多么粗鲁的一个地方!
但如果真的跟南京人私底下打交道,会发现其实每个人都很热心。有什么困难都会帮,脸上也都会笑眯眯的。

复杂……


3. 南京的夜晚
本来南京就是南京,应该做一体而论。但奇怪的是晚上的南京总让我觉得比白天更为熟悉。
黑黑的,没什么灯更没什么星星。小路不是很平坦。空气中飘着一股很熟悉很亲切的味道。
有点小风,感觉有点冷。

Saturday, May 12, 2007

post about something exciting... Beijing 2008!! =D

没有什么比这件事更能让一个中国人激情澎湃的了 =D

每天看电视的时候,尤其是中央台和北京台,奥运的广告和宣传片多得不得了。感觉每个人都为奥运动了起来,用每个人自己的方式。还有“迎奥运,讲文明,树新风”…… 那种看到每个人对自己暖暖的微笑,大家互相帮助,互相体谅的感觉,还真的有点让人感动阿 =)

贴些宣传片吧~ 拍得很不错的。

成龙的visa卡广告,姚明也客串了一把~

One World, One Dream

the torch. best torch i have ever seen.

and lastly, this is the video i like the best...
中国的同学都应该能认出里面央视的主持人吧。很温暖哦?


人文奥运。希望奥运真的能推推这个社会,创造多一点和谐,多一点温暖。很怕奥运一过,一切又烟消云散,回到原状。我也好想在南京街头,对着眼前的温暖露出像这些主持人一样安详而又自豪的笑容。

即使这一辈子就在新加坡了,我还是为自己是一个中国人而骄傲。





ToT

why I cant access any blog on blogspot le???
but i can still edit my blog and post entries...
hmm... got banned again? i remember blogspot blogs were used to be banned last time...
ppl in China... can u see this?

=(

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

my home~ 我的家~

these few days quite boring, rot at home all the time. yes i realised what i wanted to do -- throw myself into sofa (o i love our big big sofa in living room its so soft and spacious ^^) and watch tv playing my favourate serials like 铁齿铜牙纪晓岚! haha. and i also got catch some movies randomly when they were played on tv. watched 赵文卓 version 黄飞鸿... and a few movies which i dunno the title cos i started watch halfway... last nite caught a 僵尸戏,watched awhile got disgusted and change channel...
since i'm the most free person at home now, i cook and wash dishes everyday. sometimes wash clothes and sweep floor. feeling like a housewife now...lol
starting from yesterday, i pull my parents to go for excercise every morning ^^ wah they really looooong loooooooooooooong time never do excercise.. run abit pant alot already... and both of them got their tummies weeeelllll established =S must 培养 their habits of doing morning excercise before i go back singapore!!

i'm doing something for the upcoming mother's day, and also my mom's birthday is next month. i'm also trying to finish up something i owe jingyang long ago. a present that keeps all our happiness when we were together. this is the last thing i will do for him. i promised him this long ago when we were in love, and i dun wan to owe him anything.

anw... for those who have never seen my home in Nanjing, here are some pictures! this home is still quite new to me cos my family only moved in last year january~
Firstly, my humble little room!

i decided to paint my room light blue. my decision was right. feel very calm and comfortable surrounded by the blue~

the other cornor of my room. the screen is a small tv. this pic was taken last year during CNY, so u see my 大衣 is there ^^ and the door opens to balcony.

balcony! i like the green colour 窗帘~ very natural and 清新 feeling~

living room! yes, that's my lovely sofa. again this pic was taken last year, now this sofa is no longer in grey and brown. i changed it to orange and off-white. and the small glass table was chosen by me also!

the other side of the living room, a big glass table, on which we have our meals =) the door at background opens to kitchen.


ok this is yet another side of the living room, next to the door to my room. its my piano. and i'd like to shift ur attention to the light on the ceiling~

it is not any light bought from outside ok. it was designed by my mom, and i was the one who crave all the 'scores' on it!

very simple, two straight light bulbs and a piece of glass. but simply nice. the music score u see was done by me. i needed to draw them from the back of the glass, meaning i needed to draw laterally reversed notes and numbers. and craved it. it turned out to be nice. woohoo my mom is so creative~

kitchen. not the prettiest part of a house, but the most important part.

another important part...

washroom! its separate from the toilet bowl. i like the green colou haha. dun put the toilet bowl le, just like any other toilet bowl XD

haha so yah people, if u are coming to nanjing, let me kno ok. u can stay in my house and i'll bring u to all the nice food and fun places ^^

Saturday, May 05, 2007

还在JC的时候球发给我的一篇文……共勉

写给所有女孩子


亲爱的妹妹,我要告诉你的话,这些都来自我内心。
  
  你必须找到除了爱情之外,能够使你用双脚坚强站在大地上的东西。你要找到谋生的方式。现在考虑不晚了。
  
  我从来不以为学历有什么重要,天才都不是科班,但,不是科班,连龙套都跑不了。
  
  你必须把那些浮如飘絮的思绪,渐渐转化为清晰的思路和简单的文字。华丽和漂浮都不易长久。你要知道,给予文字阅读快感不够的,内容,思想,境界,灵魂,精神和智慧,这些才重要。不要多看那些和你一个路数的女作家的文字。不要琐碎,无病呻吟。不要想到什么就写。不要流连于小感伤和小感动。
  
  妹妹,我要你相信温暖,美好,信任,尊严,坚强这些老掉牙的字眼。我不要你颓废,空虚,迷茫,糟践自己,伤害别人。我不要你把自己处理得一团糟。节制自己的感情。不是任何人都能要。体验生活,是另外一回事,并不意味着堕落和放纵。千万不要认同那些伪装的酷和另类。他们是无事可做的人找出来放任自己无事可做的借口。真正的酷是在内心。你要有强大的内心。要有任凭时间流逝,不会磨折和屈服的信念。不是因为在象牙塔中,才说出我爱世界这样的话。是知道外面的黑,脏,丑陋之后,还要说出这样的话。
  
  妹妹,好好去爱,去生活。青春如此短暂,不要叹老。偶尔可以停下来休息,但是别蹲下来张望。走了一条路的时候,记得别回头看。
  
  时不时问问自己,自己在干吗。
  
  伤心和委屈的时候,要嚎啕大哭。哭完洗完脸,拍拍自己的脸,挤出一个微笑给自己看。不要揉,否则第二天早上会眼睛肿。
  
  给自己一个远大的前程和目标。记得常常仰望天空。记住仰望天空的时候也看看脚下。
  
  任何时候,任何人问你,有过多少次恋爱,答案是两次。一次是他爱我,我不爱他。一次是我爱他,他不爱我。
  
  好的爱情永远在下一次。别给同一个男人两次伤害你的机会。别相信床上的誓言。别看重处女,但保持纯洁。不要为欲望羞耻,好好享受,但绝不忍受男人的侮辱和怠慢。
  
  相信我,妹妹,男人多的是,比三条腿的青蛙多得多。别轻易说出“爱”。相信你的直觉。不要招惹别人的男人,除非你非常非常爱他,并且,他非常非常值得爱。不要招惹寻找与前女友相似,和他母亲,姐姐相似女人的男人。不要招惹浪子,文艺青年和中年男子。别招惹太清纯的男人。别和没心没肺的人在一起。别把犯贱当真爱。一个男人作践自己来取悦你的时候,千万不要因此感动。这个烟头烫在他身上,下一个就可能烫在你身上。
  
  看看一个男人的朋友们是什么样的,注意他的朋友们对待女人的态度。还有,千万别相信一个不准备将你介绍给他的朋友圈子的男人。一个男人只肯喊你“宝贝”的时候,坚持要他喊你的名字。一个男人不再来找你的时候,就不要再去找他。不要相信在恋爱上用手段的人。分手时不要口出恶言。吸取教训,但不要后悔。后悔没有用。
  
  别干撕照片,烧信,撕日记这样一类三流爱情电视剧中才有人干的事。
  
  相信爱情。相信好男人还存在,还未婚,还在茫茫人海中寻觅你。别说“男人没一个好东西”这样使别人误以为你阅人无数的话。
  
  答应我,永远不要去做那种午夜背着行李,从一个男朋友家,流落到另一个男朋友家的女人。
  
  爱物质,适当地。永远知道精神更重要。比那些名表,名牌,时装,更加美丽的是你自己。
  
  别瞧不起劳动人民。不要为劳动羞耻。土地不脏,汗味不难闻。请尊重那些似乎生活状况不如你的人,因为这样才是尊重自己。永远体恤那些生活在底层的人们,因为我们的亲人就是在这些人群中。我们不娇贵。
  
  不要小看一分钱。不妨自己去挣挣看。
  
  做人有时要强悍一点,被欺负的时候,一定要讨回来!但是不要记恨。小人之见,随他们去好了。怜悯,会使你高贵。
  
  被朋友伤害了的时候,别怀疑友情,但提防背叛你的人。原谅,但并不遗忘。做人存几分天真童心,对朋友保持一些侠义之情。
  
  要快乐,要开朗,要坚韧,要温暖。
  
  这和性格无关。

当了一天猪~

小肥羊火锅还是不错滴~但是真是不习惯不是自助的火锅阿!吃得都不爽~ 而且也不够辣,唉唉,没过瘾~

养成了早睡早起的暂时性习惯,每天早上惊讶于刚刚敲过的7点铃声。昨天上午还是有事情做的~跟老爸一起看了火箭和爵士的比赛(郁闷,不多说)。然后10点半兴冲冲出门见人^^

一年多没见李奕璋了,两年多没见大Q了吧~ 还真是没怎么变啊,只是两位都又重量级了一点啊~
真的没怎么变。走路的姿势,穿衣服的style(居然没变,在潮流的冲击下~ 真难得),吃任何东西时专心致志的样子,大笑到毫无形象~ 真好真好。
居然又跟李奕璋同学用同样的手机!!=,= 上次的nokia2130还不够么。。。
相比之下我好像是变了最多的人。有时候讲话的口音都不对头,真是。。。唉,惭愧。大Q问我是不是回南京有点不习惯,我想了好几秒钟终于心不甘情不愿地点头承认。
郁闷。

还是讲吃的八!!肤浅一点,才像是放假嘛~~

小学毕业之后第一次吃到了猪脑~~ (er, ppl from S'pore, maybe u all are not used to it... but yah, we eat pig brain =,=)
涮羊肉!好久好久不吃了。。。我吃得还算文雅的,那两位都是筷子夹起一整团往嘴里塞。
吃完火锅在湖南路上闲逛,被请吃梅花糕,还有臭豆腐!嗬嗬~应该拍下来的,让某些没有回家的人馋一下 XD
然后买了冰糖葫芦~!!好吃!山楂夹年糕,有机会一定要试!太好吃了,在我想起来拍照之前就吃掉了XD
还有奶茶=)里面除了珍珠,还有枸若和布丁~

幸福幸福幸福幸福~

Thursday, May 03, 2007

可爱的一天^^

今天几乎一天在外面奔波。奶奶摔了一跤,骨盆那里骨折了。84岁高龄,还真是要卧床不起。一早摸去医院(因为不认识~),喂水果,调温水,帮着清理大小便。今天天气还比前几天闷热,奶奶一直冒小汗,需要不停的扇扇被子通通风,但又不能太过因为怕受凉。中午摸去南京大学食堂吃饭,然后又在老爸办公室昏睡了两个多小时(!),然后再摸回医院,途中郁闷的但又是意料之中的迷路了 =,=…… 到了医院继续照顾,5点多回家……

照顾病人和老人还真是不简单。很多很细节的小事情,不做一直都不会知道的。心理有时候也很奇怪。会想着,以后爸爸妈妈生病了我也要这样照顾他们让他们觉得很幸福^^。会想着,如果我骨折了,谁会这样照顾我呢?

回家的路上,经过宁海中学,很多穿校服的学生正走出校门。
突然间觉得我老了……=,=
几乎都是一对一对的。虽然都穿着校服,但发型打扮都很是时尚。男的总是高高酷酷的,女的总是小小的可爱的。有几对在大街上就直接互相搂着,好像老牌热恋情侣(这可是我大学前半年之后才炼成的境界阿~ 当然这些孩子是否是高三还无从考证)。但大多数都还像我当年那样,两个人并排走着,也不搂着腰,也不拉手,但靠得很近。笑笑的,有一搭没一搭的聊着。
那时候就想着,什么时候能不用偷偷摸摸的喜欢人和被人喜欢呢?现在,我能光明正大的谈恋爱了,但我又开始羡慕早恋的青涩和暧昧了~呵呵,没救了。
oh no~ 我居然用了“当年”这个词~ 真的老了老了……

穿行于横空出世的花朵们中间~
欧~那些花儿 (做情圣状~ 啊真受不了我自己)

顺便说一句,很喜欢在这不冷不热的天气里在北京西路上骑着单车的感觉^^

=============

明天终于要去见人拉!yeah~~~~~~~~

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

贴张照片,恢复正常。

欠了好久的DND的照片~

其实这里的读者差不多都是KE的人吧应该~ 大家就随便看看吧^^



Geri and Colin aka Junzhe... they are from GH block and they won the pageant and manhunt contest!! =D


me taking picture with Mr Macho Colin! haha so honoured

XQRJ photo! from left to right, Kane aka Kane Handsome Bong, design head, also JCRC vice-president! damn powerful. and he kept saying i look good on that day. lol 听者暗爽阿!haha. then me, obviously. then dear hueyshin, my neighbour cum dance mate cun wushu mate sun XQRJ marketing mate. then ah Seng, 9th XQRJ head. small eyes, look serious but super 8. then yueting, YY's gf, my dance mate and nxt year XQRJ head!

me and wuhong, our dear vice-cap. 老好人一个。now learning spear with me!

me and 传说中的YY aka yuanyan! one of my favourate seniors ^^ but leaving hall soon... sob sob miss him~