wat to doooooo

对我好对我好好到无路可退
可是我也很想有个人陪
才不愿把你得罪
于是那么迂回
一时进一时退保持安全范围
这个阴谋让我好惭愧
享受被爱滋味
却不让你想入非非

就让我们虚伪
有感情 别浪费
不能相爱的一对
亲爱像两兄妹
爱让我们虚伪
我得到于事无补的安慰
你也得到模仿爱上一个人的机会
残忍也不失慈悲
这样的关系你说多完美

眼看你看著我看得那么暧昧
被爱爱人原来一样可悲
为甚么竟然防备别人给我献媚
不能推不能要要了怕你误会
让我想起曾经爱过谁
我所要的她不给
好像小偷一样卑微

就让我们虚伪
有感情 别浪费
不能相爱的一对
亲爱像两兄妹
爱让我们虚伪
我得到于事无补的安慰
你也得到模仿爱上一个人的机会
残忍也不失慈悲
这样的关系你说多完美

================

昨天以前，这首歌是我的全部想法。
现在……我不知道该怎么办。
越来越搞不清楚自己了，真是讨厌。
啊！！！！！！！！！！
吼！！！！！！！！！！！！！

=the one?=

hopeless me...

我会发着呆 然后忘记你

接着紧紧闭上眼

想着那一天会有人代替

让我不再想念你

我会发着呆然后微微笑

接着紧紧闭上眼

又想了一遍 你温柔的脸

在我忘记之前

心里的眼泪 模糊了视线

你会看不见

1 project, 1 essay, 1 presentation, 1 field trip, and 1 hopeless brain filled with a stupid pig... 1.5 days. i'm god-like.

真的远去

again... i'm blogging at my busiest time =.=


终于能真切地感觉到他的渐行渐远
在休止符突然间出现的一个半月后
这几天之前 还总是不能相信他就这样走出了我的生活
知道么 那种奇怪的感觉
那种觉得他还应该在身边 但又不在身边的感觉
仿佛还是昨天
可是昨天已非常遥远

现在真的感受得到 他远了
他在慢慢的变成一个背影

戒痕消失了 完全找不到了
只留下比其他手指瘦了一圈的左手中指
原来带了两年多的戒指
只一个月就可以让它存在过的证据灰飞烟灭
更让我觉得自己可笑的是
戒指又不是你送的 我何苦在这里自欺欺人？

手机的welcome message一直没有变过
‘如果有一天 我不再出现 你是否开始想念’
之前放是因为喜欢心微的那首‘有一天’
你看到之后还生气了 说我乱讲
看 我没乱说吧

一个半月完全没有联系了
之前还说做回普通朋友
恩 我看 我死了你都不会知道吧？

无所谓
我有朋友 有世界
有学业让我忘掉一切 有假期让我好好休息
我肯定会好好的
好得一塌糊涂
只是 可惜不是你

可惜不是你陪我到最后
曾一起走却走失那路口
感谢那时你牵过我的手
还能感受那温柔

= just miss u a bit. tts all. =

dead me is writing blog...

oyes i was killed by the physics and bio-D CA on tuesday.

we were supposed to have 1 and a half hours to finish the PC1143 CA, but i guess most of us finish the 25 MCQs in like 40 minutes? not because i am zai ok... its because there was little complicated calculation or integration, but a lot of confusing conceptal stuff. so if you do not know or not sure about it, that's it! no matter how much time u spend u also dunno the rite ans. so very very sian alr... plus the test was like if u leave blank, u get zero, if u got it wrong u will get minus mark! arghhh so gross

i though i was quite well prepared for my bio-D but i was WRONG. the first word in the first question got me stunned. dunno wat the hell it is... and i dun have a textbook, so cannot flip to the index part and look for the word, like what other people do. and my essay was also shitty... short and untidy, a lot of wrong info... haizhaiz... and I HATE TAKING OPENBOOK TEST IN LT! the table was soooo small la how do you think i can put all my books and notes on it??? and some more my table was tilted so all my things kept sliding down...

in one word, frustrated!

in case u r wondering why i had only 2 tests... on the day just before tuesday, after i spent the whole morning and afternoon studying the 3rd test, the prof emailed us and say 'o lets put it on next tuesday'...

still... frustrated...

===

things coming up:
Tuesday: UAR2204 test, UAR2204 Final Project DUE
Wednesday: MasteringPhysics online assessment 5 DUE
Friday: USE2304 Final Project DUE, UAR2204 Final Project presentation
..
..
..
and then its the start of reading week... and my first exam is on 21 Apr, saturday...

orz...

jiayou bah...

===

oyah, muz thank kane and colin for helping me on my UAR2204 sonic art final project =D big big thanks!!!

===

i seem to think less about him le... thanks to all my friends in hall, in PGP (esp the round thing in blk 2), and in Australia =) and baba mama

or is it because i have to shift my attention to the endless school work...hahahahahahaha

===

o i went National Museum of Singapore at Stamford Road last thursday. it was for my USE2304 essay, but i recommend u all to go as well... it's not an outdated place. very fun and high-tech! and can learn a lot of expected things. student price only $5. singaporeans, u all should be proud of this museum...

dead...

who is more power than me..
let's look at what i have got here:

1.physics lab report, due tomorrow 4pm (got lesson from 10-12am, n 2-4pm, so need to hand up before 2pm)

2. usp singapore studies essay, due next monday.

and the best of all...

3. THREE CAs on next TUESDAY.
physics + life sciences + sonic art and sciences.


in short, i'm dead.

DND!

had enuf about talking about the pig jingyang alr. now i'm gg to blog some fun things...

today was my hall KE7 DnD!

ok it was yesterday. guys u muz get used to my blogging timing ok...haha.

had quite a great time with all the hall people. my table was basically a wushu table, with yuanyan aka YY, the ex-wushu captain, and his gf yueting, who was also my XQRJ collegue, and hanwei, the psychotic wushu senior, together with his gf angele, who was also from VJ S1. and also wuhong, my vice-captain, hueyshin, nxt yr's captain, and me, nxt yr's vice =.= we also have jason, who was a senior no longer staying in hall (so i dunno him) and his gf (i think?) charmaine, who's also in DanzDemons (KE7 dance group) with me. so we are a very nice bunch of 9 people! YY, yueting, hanwei, angele, hueyshin n me are all from GH block some more! haha

food was super nice. service also super nice. the only thing was that the place was too far away from hall, but i dun mind much abt it cos just bcos of this we can tokok and entertain ourselves in the bus LOL

then the pagent and manhunt contest... we GH block won them all!! both pagent and manhunt winners were from GH! Congrats Geri and Colin! their latin dance was super nice la, love it alot. i knew geri sure win the pagents one. for guys... there was this guy from AB block who was quite good-looking. but i totally dunno wat he was talking about during QnA session! i think nobody know, including himself XD. and our colin answer his qn very well! haha so he won =D

Congrats again Geri n Colin!!
and of course, we took pics like mad. i finally had the courage to wear the silver gown i bought when i was in JC! hehe and i did make up for myself =p

me and wuhong, our dear vice-cap. 老好人一个。now learning spear with me!

XQRJ photo! from left to right, Kane aka Kane Handsome Bong, design head, also JCRC vice-president! damn powerful. and he kept saying i look good today. lol 听者暗爽阿！haha. then me, obviously. then dear hueyshin, my neighbour cum dance mate cun wushu mate sun XQRJ marketing mate. then ah Seng, 9th XQRJ head. small eyes, look serious but super 8. then yueting, YY's gf, my dance mate and nxt year XQRJ head!
orz...looks like blogger dun allow me to upload any more pics. or isit i'm lousy only. haha. anw, its getting late...go slp le. tmr gg SING with yiwei aka BALL! hahahahahaha

oh no i cant post the pics at all!!! AT ALL!!! anw...juz post first without pics...i'm damn tired...

those army days...

watched Army Daze today, during USP singapore studies lesson (cutest lecturer in USP ever! must take USE2304 if u r in usp ok).
realised that jingyang's NS covered 2 years out of the 2 yrs 8months of us being together... lol
and those are ironically the happiest days =) when he can actually call me almost everyday, and we tell each other about our days..
soon after he out of NS we byebye le =( i had been looking forward to the day he out of army leh... aiyoh.
still remember the day he out of BMT, carring two huge bags at Tampinese. sad for him leh, where is he going to find another girlfriend who can help him carry one of the two bags which have sizes comparable as her size? =P lol
oh maybe he dun need a girl like tt any more. he will never go for another BMT liao wat.
really got to SEE the true lives of new bee army guys in the movie. being all alone at first, get scolded by sergeants, doing bumping all the time, obstacle courses, 32k marches, field camps, guard duties... familiar terms. jingyang has gone through all these... haiz... still feel xin1 teng2, and want to hug him...
maybe its those tiring and difficult days that makes him need me more.
like wat zhanjiang said, after one whole tiring day, both mentally and physically exhausted, lying on bed, sure think of gf one.

in the movie the gf of one recruit almost fell in love with someone else.
the guy was damn sad, cos they were like so loving.
n i cried, of course silently la, so nobody in the classroom noticed.
complex feeling arouse when i go back and read through my entries in earlier day when we were together and he in the army...
我挺过了那段寂寞，你却先离开了我。

anw
并不想要抱怨我的付出没有得到相等的回报
也不想要指责扬有什么不好
因为 这些能换来的或许只有感激和愧疚
无数个的谢谢你和对不起
虽然都是三个字
我想我明白 我不会再从他口中听到 我爱你

所以 不会再去挽留没有了爱的感情
只是有些小小眷恋和惋惜
仅此而已