fantastic...

check these.

they are models.

MODELS!!!

omg.

祝福

finally. one asked, one answered.

暧昧告一段落。good or bad? actually i dunno.

maybe the 暧昧 period is the sweetest and happiest period. after 捅破窗户纸, things start becoming down to earth, and love starts mixing with responsibility inevitably.

well, i choose to take that as a test to both people in this couple.

3am today, i directed a 赶人的故事, mercilessly kicked somebody out from our room. dun blame me ok, i really hope u two can last long, so i hope u control a bit at the start.

to shin: congratulations. love whole-heartedly, dun doubt him or urself easily, but at the same time try to protect urself a bit. however, dun be afraid of getting hurt. love has a price.

to seng: congratulations, u've got a wonderful gf. love her with all ur heart, protect her and stand beside her as a man.

=====

希望你能当我宝贝
你一定不会后悔
我只有一个要求
就是要对你好
永远不让你流泪
永远都不让你心碎
希望你相信我
我们在一起好吗

=)

some pic i took at home =)

hmm... looks like some messy plant huh...

it's... ... ... ... POTATO!
yes! we plant potato on our balcony! my almighty mom!!

mom loves flowers. she always buy v cheap flowers, then cut and tidy them up, arrange them really nicely.

康乃馨~ i think all these cost... 3 rmb?

simple but amazing flower. 栀子花. yes, it is the one. super strong but very 清新 fragrance.

I love this! 黄玫瑰 and 紫边康乃馨~ soooo pretty....

seldom buy cherry in S'pore, bcos they r simply too ex. so i ate a lot at home...

among all the cherries my dad bought, there are 3 with this weird shape~ i personally maintain that it looks like 屁股~ lol. and there r 3 屁股s, just nice for mom, dad and me! ROFL

i showed the picture above to my mom, she said 没有拍出屁股的感觉 =,=b so i re-took~

ok ok no more joke. this is the standard ones. so cute and pretty =D


o, must mention our daily morning excercises...

omg! my mommy's 韧带 really flexible man!

our family~ can u see my dad is trying to show muscle? major LOL

ok on the last day home, the breakfast before i went to the airport, there was llllllllllllllots of good food...........

特写~

银耳雪梨~ very thick and sweet!...

珍珠肉丸~ minced pork coated with glutinous rice.. i know how to cook this also. nice in terms of both look and taste!!

酒酿鸡蛋元宵！arhhh cant stand it. my favourate dessert!!!! the 酒酿 is not the packed one bought in supermarket some more. it was bought from hawker on the street! soooo 难得！！！the supermarket ones are all so plain and tasteless...

i'm drooling ='(

i said those words. i have to keep what i have said.

i fight with myself everyday. i stone whenever i can. whenever i'm not working for float, my brain is completely messy with all these rubbish. for many times i have the urge of telling u everything, taking u in the way i want, but at last i have to hold all back. its not a good experience. at all. but sorry, i still choose to believe that to simply follow my heart is an act of 任性, selfishness and irresponsibility.

dun want to hurt anyone, including myself, any more. i shall wait. patience is a virtue.

===

have to write this out, cos otherwise i might over-suppress myself to death. to my readers, please dun simply conclude what i mean. it may not be in the way u think. this entry is for myself to understand only. yup.

sorry if i sound offensive.

you are great

you said it is great to have someone to love. and u said in that sense u r great.

yes u are, indeed.

u actually believe firmly that u love someone. it is love, not like, not anything else. how did u achieve that?

and u love her even if she is not what u expected. u love her even if she nv give u a definite answer, or rejected u.

ur heart is so big, with so little hesitation.

i envy u.

i've got potential

the nite before last nite shin, seng, kane, ellen and me had a vodka nite. i realise i really have the potential of being a 酒国英雄... really, no joke!

come to think of it, i love 酒心巧克力 more than any other chocolates ever since i tasted my first chocolate. and 酒酿 is always one of my favourate food. so haha, its not surprising at all.

bought a bottle of 40% vodka absolute from the airport when i came back to singapore, cos it's a waste not to buy some duty-free alcohol drink when u passby the airport. had a little bit with colin for farewell before he went to france, then the rest, which is about 0.8 liter, we finished it within one nite!

it was the first time i experience a likely 醉酒. disclaimer first, i was not 借酒消愁ing, like in some 三流爱情连续剧 ok. i was just curious, what it would be like if i drink a bit more. at first i still took the trouble of mixing vodka with sprite. after awhile i lazy already, just drink pure vodka. kane taught me how to drink in 'shots': pour a bit into cup, then pour it into ur throat without letting it stop in ur mouth. then exhale with ur nose. woah... i must have drank over 10 shots...

so in the end i could tell i started to be a bit shaky. and i had quite some difficulty in holding the bottle steadily when i pour vodka, also couldn't really walk in a straight line. head was very heavy, had some tendency of falling down all the time. but i can say my mind was still very clear, and i knew what i was doing. i can still remember wat i did that nite. and i was not really 冲动, and say all the rubbish without controlling myself. i controlled myself well, and didn't tell any secret of myself, perhaps because i dun have secret to tell in the first place. the only only weird thing was that i remembered i cried twice and i hugged shin so that the other 3 ppl couldnt see me crying. i also dunno why. haha.

so in conclusion, 酒精影响了我的神经，但并没有影响精神. those words written in those lousy novels and stories are rubbish.

all the 5 ppl slept in our room for that nite (shin, ellen and me have this room, seng and kane are guys having a room downstairs), cos both seng and kane drank quite a bit and didn't really bother to move back to their room. 5 people on two single beds wow... really v 壮观. i was in the middle, next to shin and ellen. lucky all 5 of us quite slim (LOL), but still very squeezy....

during his sleep, seng had put his arm knowingly or unknowlingly around shin, who slept like a dead pig. seng, dun let her wait for too long k? i know u love her and she loves u. dun keep waiting for the so called 时机, which nobody knows when to come. u two have mutual love. it's precious. go ahead and get it, please.

these few days quite hot. prefer west wing!! that nite also. i woke up once and went out to get some fresh air, with a head still super heavy. 3 hrs after i went back, i woke up again and fled to my chair, cos i could hardly move when two beds are paked with 5 ppl. i slept for the rest of 1 hour on the chair =,=

enjoy drinking that time. maybe i still drank too little.

=========================

float started on 1 June. today had quite a productive meeting. i like the feeling of keeping myself busy. and btw, to that person in france, enjoy k, and be careful, dun get cheated by ppl. euros are expensive ;)

you

i tot it was simple and straightforward, at most a bit troublesome or guilty in expressing it.

now i start doubting myself AGAIN.

can i just dun always think too much and just do what a gal is supposed to do?
CANNOT.

that's my problem. hurt him. hurt her. hurt myself. hurt everyone.

and i'm still acting like a hypocrite, saying with crocodile's tears that 'oh no i dun want to hurt anyone!'

wat a freakingly terrible person i am.

hope my decision to this thing is correct. or rather non-disastrous. although i have a feeling that it is gonna be the opposite way.

wat on earth do u want, woman