losing

finally.

i lost him as a good friend.

despite all the effort and sacrifice.

i should have known it right from the start.

break

dinner break now.

for the first time since i started doing float i didnt go for dinner (yes yes i became v guai and never skip meal except for breakfasts XD). dun feel like eating =,=

did quite some engineering work for the past week. cutting wood, drilling, screwing. must admit that its really tiring. physically tiring. tools are heavy, not easy to control, and there is saw dust everywhere. so suffered from muscle ache and was totally shagged, dun want to move any of my body parts. but now much better le =)

quite proud of myself. i learnt the tools!

and learnt to use sewing machine also, successfully sew a small bag for static display. also it took like 10 years of time haha.

so i guess i'm really the one who tried every department's expertise? lol

===

now still not that convenient to post photos of our float. guess i will spam here with loads of photos after rag day. oh after i make up for my deprived sleep. but hmm i think i won't have the patience to wait for the slow uploading speed bcos there are sooooooo many pics so give up halfway. then drag drag till very late. lol hahaha

我又来了。

在凌晨4点55分，大睁着双眼坐在电脑前等头发干 =.=

===

好累。

complex mood

feel myself getting weirder.

and weirder and weirder and weirder and weirder.

happy + not happly + sad + not sad + irritated + encouraged + feel i am at fault + feel other ppl are at fault + selfish + considerate (or trying to be)

come to think of it, perhaps the problem is that i pretend too much.

tired. and sometimes painful. and lonely.

i pretend in order to make other ppl happier. that's the only reason that can hold me on.

====

moved room from C318 to G511 in one shot yesterday.
Done it in 2 hours!!! with help from engseng, wuhong and qiaojie. thx guys!!!! we and shin will treat u all~ lol

organizing all the boxes and stuff plus clearing the bed so that we can slp took another 1 and a half hours. slept at 4+am. again.

i repeat:

1. KE7 is an excellent place to keep one fit (crazy vertical marathon everyday);

2. its sooooooooooooooooooo cool to walk with two FREE hands.

===

saw some good discriptions in tianya.

我们不会成为敌人，因为彼此深爱过。
我们不会成为朋友，因为彼此伤害过。
所以，我们只能是最熟悉的陌生人。

major brain + body dysfunctioning

Congrats to myself! since dunno when, i find myself sleep earliest at 3am, while still need to get up b4 9:30am.

last nite was 5am. now today it looks like 4am.

full time floater~ really FULL-TIME. i anticipate the day when we burn 24/7.


and i cant run away from the fact that i need to move room at the same time when i am floating.

conclusion i draw:

1. KE7 is an excellent place to keep one fit (crazy vertical marathon everyday);

2. its sooooooooooooooooooo cool to walk with two FREE hands.

========

somehow happier today. perhaps because of the starbucks latte this afternoon. but still having a not-so-correct feeling.

its scary to realise that i'm doubting ourselves. right from the start.

are we doing the right thing?????? are we still on the track?

=========

freshies started to check in. hall is getting more and more re4 nao4.

which actually makes me happy, cos i like the way that there are happy people around most of the time.

i was a bit high tonite (or last nite?) when there were many freshies in comm hall, trying to help out with float dance. they look good =)

but erm, dunno why, sometimes suddenly feel, this is no longer the place i'm familiar with... no longer belong to me?
and... pi2 bei4. tired. when the happy and happening atmosphere lasts for too long.

i think i'm really really tired. every part of the body. paralysed. sweaty. panting. shivering. dizzy.

很累。很累。很累很累很累……

shitty, and getting shittier.

四周弥漫着不愉快的空气。

有些人就是有本事把你的小宇宙蹭地一下点燃起来。

我们提倡用脑和心去思考，而不是脊椎。

心直口快并不是缺点，好为人师和随便shoot人就是尊重与不尊重的问题了。

要快乐，要开朗，要坚韧，要温暖。 　　

要温暖。

这和性格无关。

kane的tag line很罕见的生气粗暴。月婷的也很罕见的沮丧。明恩的也是。妙宝的一如既往。

seng老板郁闷着，而且生了病。歆以及整个design team都处在随时要爆的边缘。

这是怎么了？？？？？

想喊，想打人，想吵，想翻桌，想回家。

啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！ 啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！ 啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

ice cream

ate a mint choco ice cream with bread on the way back from tuition. so nice~

life is good.

===

不知道怎么回事，最近总是想到某人。
做着东西的时候确实比较好过。专心不乱。但一歇下来我就歇了。做什么也想到，去哪里也想到，看什么电影也想到，吃什么steamboat也想到。好巧不巧又碰到NDP rehearsal. Sigh.
总不能一直不停做工到死吧？=S

可能因为六、七月我们之间有意义的日子比较多。还是只是我认为有意义=.=

稀里糊涂想了很多东西，写出来又将是长篇大论。应该不值得那个篇幅吧。无非是一些自傲跟自卑的混合物。
确实还需要一些日子。

===

传言淡下去了。挺好。
其实不应该被大家发现的。考试前在study room一起读书太明显了吧。
挺后悔的。那时‘就这样了’还不久，学业又一直很stressed着，没能控制住想找个肩膀的心思吧。

“我们只是很自私很贪心地想寻找一点安慰。虽然毫无恶意，但在那一刻的冲动，我们都无法控制心里的空虚寂寞伤心难过，……而我们在拥抱的时候，无意中狠心地践踏了对方的尊严，把他当成毫无价值的安慰奖。”

大头芬的世界还是很有道理的。佩芬挺有才。

被人追固然不是坏事，但因此开始翘脚享受，占着茅坑不拉屎，让那个人付出，等待，受伤，那就太不厚道了。我自己都不能容我自己。

错。被人追就是坏事。

还是一个人安安静静好好读书读过这3年好了。不麻烦别人，自己也自由。

give myself a pat at the back! 我还假装蛮伟大的。偷笑一个。哈哈。