状态比较不好
i kno everything as i don't kno.
something is disturbing me greatly.
i keep telling myself dun be so ganjiong and try to study happily. but apparently i failed.
i can feel i'm physically and mentlly perishing inside this study room...
and shit where are you
Friday, April 25, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
just want to write something...
had not a very happy day.
i see i was enjoying the relationship too much. well i tot i dun need to worry too much, just follow my feeling.
but then hey of course, i have no problem pretending. really. i was just too unpretended. u saw it, i was still smiling and laughing and holding ur hand when u said all those, wasnt i? like i really dun mind.
somehow it feels like 3 March 2007, on the A2 bus, when i hold that hand tightly for the last time, smiling and telling him to say to me for the last time i love you. then alight, walk and walk without turning back.
yes yes i will not be so thoughtless any more. i shld understand the world doesnt go with my rules only, no matter how nice the rules are. there are other 6 billion ppl around, with their preferred rules. and of course i won't die of pretending. ppl pretend all the time, isnt it.
just that hmm i have to start this when u r about to leave. when we r supposed to treasure the limited time together and be closer, in the sense. bit ironic yah. but then again, who knows, it may help alleviate the uncomfortableness after u leave. always look at the bright side of life.
looks like i really treat here like a rubbish bin. haha, cos time has proven that here has only 2 readers, including myself.
just a side note, i dun imply a break-up in any way. i'm still in love, just that i may have to, erm, stay a bit further away.
exam period. no useless thought.
i see i was enjoying the relationship too much. well i tot i dun need to worry too much, just follow my feeling.
but then hey of course, i have no problem pretending. really. i was just too unpretended. u saw it, i was still smiling and laughing and holding ur hand when u said all those, wasnt i? like i really dun mind.
somehow it feels like 3 March 2007, on the A2 bus, when i hold that hand tightly for the last time, smiling and telling him to say to me for the last time i love you. then alight, walk and walk without turning back.
yes yes i will not be so thoughtless any more. i shld understand the world doesnt go with my rules only, no matter how nice the rules are. there are other 6 billion ppl around, with their preferred rules. and of course i won't die of pretending. ppl pretend all the time, isnt it.
just that hmm i have to start this when u r about to leave. when we r supposed to treasure the limited time together and be closer, in the sense. bit ironic yah. but then again, who knows, it may help alleviate the uncomfortableness after u leave. always look at the bright side of life.
looks like i really treat here like a rubbish bin. haha, cos time has proven that here has only 2 readers, including myself.
just a side note, i dun imply a break-up in any way. i'm still in love, just that i may have to, erm, stay a bit further away.
exam period. no useless thought.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
laptop reinstalled!!
thx dear~~
now finally IE7 and office2007. ball u dun hv to laugh at me le... lol
and finally can access gmail and blogger le... =)
now reading week already. jut started mugging tonite 8 o'clock. before that was slacking...
just now was calling my mum. knew something jz said and am angry now!
NOT HAPPY!
now finally IE7 and office2007. ball u dun hv to laugh at me le... lol
and finally can access gmail and blogger le... =)
now reading week already. jut started mugging tonite 8 o'clock. before that was slacking...
just now was calling my mum. knew something jz said and am angry now!
NOT HAPPY!
Thursday, March 27, 2008
a not-too-late post?
ok i thought i very long time never blog le. but then after counting i realised it's been only 2 weeks. haha. not that bad, in the sense =)
but well, certainly a lot of things happened during the two weekz.........
Dance Uncensored 2008. the show that tortures us dancers for the past 2 months finally ended. and they didnt get UCC hall, so we had to perform TWICE in the theater as a result. led to a super tiring day... whole day at UCC...
was only in 1 item. thankful of that, cos if i'm in even one more i would hv a lot more frustration on no time to study and do other stuff. but then i'm the lead of that item =.= and most of the time i'm in the center of the stage doing different things from the rest, and expect the audience to look at me (so AA right). andd because its a sword dance featuring a heroin (who is unfortunately played by me), i was forced to put on a wig =,= =,= =,=
enuf nonsense... dun feel like writing now....
all i want to say is... the show was superb! =) especially for KE dancers!!!! yes, we definitely stood out among all. my item turn out to be good =) and the wig never drop XD
and of course we took lots of pics. wil put up once i manage to login my gmail and blogger acct on my laptop =.= yes yes i dunno why gmail and blogger dun let me sign in
then the day after DU is hall DnD. went together with zhe. nothing special happen, just a normal DnD. a lot of pictures also. can i say zhe is handsome and i am pretty? ok i must be going crazy.
oyah we performed on NUS open house. wushu i mean. the training was xiong again. plus dance and studies, maybe that explains my lack of entries. yah that's about it.
another news is, zhe is flying off 2 May, instead of 7 Apr. so we have slightly more time together. actually not. the additional one month will be full of CA2, project deadlines and presentations and revisions for exams. some days we can only see each other during breakfast and at ard 1am before sleep. but its ok. i'm thankful that he is still near. well hope he feels the same way LOL
ok i think i won't be blogging for another long period of time. 6 CAs and 2 projects due in the next 3 weeks. and, can i shout here, I HATE MY BIOPHYSICS PROJECT GROUP.
oh and, to ball ball. you will squeeze out de. i have faith in you. (although u r very round LOL)
but well, certainly a lot of things happened during the two weekz.........
Dance Uncensored 2008. the show that tortures us dancers for the past 2 months finally ended. and they didnt get UCC hall, so we had to perform TWICE in the theater as a result. led to a super tiring day... whole day at UCC...
was only in 1 item. thankful of that, cos if i'm in even one more i would hv a lot more frustration on no time to study and do other stuff. but then i'm the lead of that item =.= and most of the time i'm in the center of the stage doing different things from the rest, and expect the audience to look at me (so AA right). andd because its a sword dance featuring a heroin (who is unfortunately played by me), i was forced to put on a wig =,= =,= =,=
enuf nonsense... dun feel like writing now....
all i want to say is... the show was superb! =) especially for KE dancers!!!! yes, we definitely stood out among all. my item turn out to be good =) and the wig never drop XD
and of course we took lots of pics. wil put up once i manage to login my gmail and blogger acct on my laptop =.= yes yes i dunno why gmail and blogger dun let me sign in
then the day after DU is hall DnD. went together with zhe. nothing special happen, just a normal DnD. a lot of pictures also. can i say zhe is handsome and i am pretty? ok i must be going crazy.
oyah we performed on NUS open house. wushu i mean. the training was xiong again. plus dance and studies, maybe that explains my lack of entries. yah that's about it.
another news is, zhe is flying off 2 May, instead of 7 Apr. so we have slightly more time together. actually not. the additional one month will be full of CA2, project deadlines and presentations and revisions for exams. some days we can only see each other during breakfast and at ard 1am before sleep. but its ok. i'm thankful that he is still near. well hope he feels the same way LOL
ok i think i won't be blogging for another long period of time. 6 CAs and 2 projects due in the next 3 weeks. and, can i shout here, I HATE MY BIOPHYSICS PROJECT GROUP.
oh and, to ball ball. you will squeeze out de. i have faith in you. (although u r very round LOL)
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Monday, March 10, 2008
die Woche
it's the start of a new week!
I just had the most 'slacking' weekend since the start of this semester. despite the frequent occurance of the feeling of rushing for work, cos i'm too used to it =.=
the last week was also packed. 3 CAs and a report due, with VIVA. got dance and wushu also. but considering i had such a dream-like recess week, i decided everything is worthwhile.
LOL
the struggle last week was of course tough, and my mood was down and up and down also. but now i'm quite happy, think mainly because the marks for all of the 4 tests before the break and 2 out of the 3 tests after the break were out, and i did not that bad. score a 98 for biophysics II and happily became the 1st in class some more. wahaha. 1st time in my NUS life.
the 1 left was German. the test was not hard. i tot i didnt commit any mistake until just now. found i had 1 mistake. haiz haiz. but that's because the part we havnt learnt yet! dunno why it appears in the test in a subtle way.
another thing tt makes me happy is zhe =). he is busy and perhaps stressed, but i can feel his love all the time. hey, hope you can feel mine all the time also =)
cleared wushu account and rested a bit over the weekend. watched 'L' with zhe on saturday night. trainings on both days for NUS open house. Zhe hurt his knee =( take care k, at least make sure u can perform XD
oh, yah. something make me very sad. wushu coach fee. i think i left a very bad impression on Cai Laoshi and Guo Laoshi already. this fact really disturbs me a lot... A lot. All i can do now is trying to get everything ok, but i know impression cant change le...
T.T
special apology to ah Ball, who i think have already successfully baked the 1st cake in her life? hoe did it go? my birthday is near (well, in less than one year XD) so prepare another round ok... u should be more experienced by then haha...
this week is again packed. think it applied to everyone? i've no more CAs for the time being but my projects are running out of time!!
fight!
I just had the most 'slacking' weekend since the start of this semester. despite the frequent occurance of the feeling of rushing for work, cos i'm too used to it =.=
the last week was also packed. 3 CAs and a report due, with VIVA. got dance and wushu also. but considering i had such a dream-like recess week, i decided everything is worthwhile.
LOL
the struggle last week was of course tough, and my mood was down and up and down also. but now i'm quite happy, think mainly because the marks for all of the 4 tests before the break and 2 out of the 3 tests after the break were out, and i did not that bad. score a 98 for biophysics II and happily became the 1st in class some more. wahaha. 1st time in my NUS life.
the 1 left was German. the test was not hard. i tot i didnt commit any mistake until just now. found i had 1 mistake. haiz haiz. but that's because the part we havnt learnt yet! dunno why it appears in the test in a subtle way.
another thing tt makes me happy is zhe =). he is busy and perhaps stressed, but i can feel his love all the time. hey, hope you can feel mine all the time also =)
cleared wushu account and rested a bit over the weekend. watched 'L' with zhe on saturday night. trainings on both days for NUS open house. Zhe hurt his knee =( take care k, at least make sure u can perform XD
oh, yah. something make me very sad. wushu coach fee. i think i left a very bad impression on Cai Laoshi and Guo Laoshi already. this fact really disturbs me a lot... A lot. All i can do now is trying to get everything ok, but i know impression cant change le...
T.T
special apology to ah Ball, who i think have already successfully baked the 1st cake in her life? hoe did it go? my birthday is near (well, in less than one year XD) so prepare another round ok... u should be more experienced by then haha...
this week is again packed. think it applied to everyone? i've no more CAs for the time being but my projects are running out of time!!
fight!
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Wonderful wonderful happiness
Let the pictures do the talk.
he brought to the airport real roses. love it.
A pretty duck couple on West Lake
一潭印月
cant believe you can be so handsome LOL
.
.
.
in front of one of the buildings in zhe's high school. i like the two sayings on the wall.
.
.
.
in zhe's house. he is so dark because he was holding the cemera and his finger blocked half of the flash XD
.
.
.
5+am. stuck ouside the closed airport (which is supposed to be 24hrs??)
he brought to the airport real roses. love it.
A pretty duck couple on West Lake.
.
一潭印月.
.
pretty little basket with nice rice dessert. the empty basket is now hanging on my notice board. the basket smells really nice =)
.
.
cant believe you can be so handsome LOL.
.
.
in front of one of the buildings in zhe's high school. i like the two sayings on the wall..
.
.
in zhe's house. he is so dark because he was holding the cemera and his finger blocked half of the flash XD.
.
.
5+am. stuck ouside the closed airport (which is supposed to be 24hrs??).
.
.
.
.
.
i dunno how to describe the happiness in this one week.
it was simply too happy.
too happy until on the day we were back, i was really really depressed... things look like hell when i compare them with the happiness!
of course now i'm much better. time heals haha.
i love zhe in his winter clothes. love his house. love his parents and grandparents. love his warm bed (he slept in his sister's room haha). love the hill. love his echo in the hill. love the 烤饼，兔头 and 麻辣烫. love the city itself. love the feeling when zhe bring me out on bicycle, and i put my hands into his pockets.
i want to stay... 那么安逸，冷得那么温暖的生活。
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