@.@

firstly, let me declare today as special because...

we were actually back to room and finished bathing before it goes to the next day!

LOL.

====

and today when i was bathing i suddenly thought through something.

朋友。还是做朋友。

不管我是否喜欢，这样都比较好吧。

难得的谈得来的好朋友，希望可以长久。恩。

不想像跟扬一样的结局。像跟小雨一样的细水长流多好。

恋爱的感觉或许诱人，但它也算是一个碰不得的死穴吧，至少对于我这种不愿失去生命中每一个值得珍惜的朋友的人。想想，跟戴天，小雨，egg，狼这些男性朋友的关系多好。辛月和奕璋，算是踩进了雷区的边缘吧，都曾郁闷得差点剪断所有联系。扬，不用多说了吧。

尤其是在1年后他会离开两年的情况下。对朋友的思念是比较不会淡去的那种，不是么？

一定要那么想的话，就当一个考验，或者说测试吧。3年之后会是怎样，就到那时顺其自然，好不好？=)

enjoy the time being single~ when we can still have plenty of time with a big circle of close friends =D dun prison ourselves into the two-ppl's world so fast mah...rite? LOL

NO TIME FOR BOYS! YEAH!

hope i can keep the above thoughts for long...haa

===

btw. today, model main body DONE! yay~~

i love my 小白! haha

回来

快点回来吧，有一点想看你的脸 =)

very tired day. partly because of the late sleep last nite, resulted from some stupid reasons, and partly the modelling work. didn't eat much. installed 40 pillars, and really worry about their endurance of tension. but anw.

met colin on msn in the afternoon. chatting with him somehow makes my mood better.

we are just perfect friends. why do u love me and tell me u love me?

just now when i was back in my bad mood, and had nothing to do (the only thing i wanted to do is the present. but i cant cos no space. and got too many ppl watching). wanted to find some close friends to talk to. shin v tired, ball not online. thought of u, quite badly.

but i cant talk to you, cos u are no longer in the position that can listen to me over things about him. about yang. rite?

it hurts u. and makes me uncomfortable also, cos it's like i'm making use of ur love or playing with ur love. which is extremely unfair.

wanted to tell u the first sentense at the beginning of this entry. but still, i refrained myself from typing it out on msn. still feel the urge to write it down somewhere, so i put it here, where u cant see. try not to be scandulous, when i hvnt giv u any positive answer.

we stepped out of the friend zone at the moment when i understand ur love is sincere. and irriversibly. now i'm left alone to make up my mind for this important thing, having to differetiate between some forever confusing things, and trying to follow my heart, which i dunno where it is, and at the same time trying not to hurt anyone that might get involved in this matter.

shit.

miss u, friend.

this day...

kept thinking... about some.

good that lately i have to do the model. can think less.

wat's the point anyway? i have made the decision.

gone. he won't be mine. maybe he never was.

he is just a shy kid, who i kno will be on a different track with me.

so many things i dun like about him, so many complains i can make about this relationship. i know it won't have a 'happy' ending. it won't. it won't. it won't.

maybe the only i cant let go until now is the feeling.

how he caught my attention without doing anything especially for me to see.

how comfortable i find his voice is, his way of talking, walking, moving about is.

yes, yes, i have criteria and expectations for my mr. right. and he violates almost all of them.

how perfect it will be if it's HIM who meets all of them...


these are precisely all the stupid and meaningless psychology description i used to laugh at in those lousy cheap love serials... wat can i do now? laugh at myself and give myself a punch.

this will be the last time that this date mean something to me.

= happy 3rd anniversary...

or will u be happier if u forget it's our anniversary =

dreamt again...

looks like i dream more often le...

dreamt of national stadium last nite =.= =.=.... it was been torn down, can see workers hammering off the concretes and bricks. then i remembered i saw the cauldron from the back of stadium, where there is a water cooler. i also saw some human shaped board without heads, like those for tourists to take photos of themselves fitting their heads in...

cool.

我真的中毒了。

from 16 hours daily on stadium model...

finally!...

finally it comes!

... although there will be pain, bad mood, and a lot of troubles coming together with it, i still appreciate the fact that it finally comes, after a good count of 54 days...

time to take care of myself?

i try la. can only try, considering the fact that i have been working for float on the model from 9am to 1am next day for the past 3 days.

拥抱

能够被拥抱，真的是一件很幸福的事情。

tired

very tired today...

just came back not long ago. just bathed, and now gg to slp.

weird. never feel such tiredness these few days.maybe it's from the pasting of hundreds over 1*5mm staircases on the model. or the discussion.or some other things.

with a not so good mood also...

anwz


really really tired... without a single bit of strength...